• Fri, Jan 10 - 11:50 am ET

Nicole Kidman Is Topless In This Jimmy Choo Ad, But I’m More Distracted By How Photoshopped She Is

Nicole Kidman Jimmy Choo ad January 2014

Word on the street is that the woman in this new Jimmy Choo advertisement is Nicole Kidman, but I’m having a little trouble believing that rumor considering she looks to possess approximately 5% of Nicole Kidman’s real-life facial features. So I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume this photo was probably Photoshopped. Is it just me, or has the world started to go a little overboard with the retouching? Once you’ve glimpsed Kerry Washington’s unrecognizable Lucky magazine cover, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. It’s getting to the point where seeing an actual non-retouched human in real life will lead to us holding up a cross and a clove of garlic.

The new Spring/Summer 2014 campaign was shot by photographer Sølve Sundsbø and features Nicole reclining in the middle of some sort of miniature jungle of potted plants and bright lights while showing off her shoes. In the photo above, she’s topless and covering herself with a purse. I know that’s always what I do when I try on shoes at the mall. And then the manager has to come over and ask me to please put my shirt on and leave the premises. But when I do that I’m not Photoshopped into oblivion.

All you have to do to realize that this photos is manipulated is A.) Look at it, and B.) Look at it. But you can also compare it to the below video from the shoot. Sure, there are a lot of canted camera angles and fast cutting so you can’t get a really good look at Nicole’s face in action. And yes, Nicole Kidman has already tried to Photoshop herself in real life through the magic of Botox. But look at that photo above and just try to tell me that looks anything like Nicole Kidman. It’s like there are invisible hands violently pulling the skin on her face upwards. It looks like she can’t even move her jaw. And her nose looks like she’s been playing that hilarious tape-on-the-face game that Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock play in The Heat. Something tells me that wasn’t the intention.

(Photo: Jimmy Choo/Facebook)

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  • Olivia Wilson

    Ha, nice try but I know that’s not Nicole Kidman. You almost tricked me, though!

    (But seriously, this crazy Photoshopping must stop.)

  • Kathy

    How did she ever walk in those shoe-rope sandal thingies? And she’s already tall so why would she add another 4″ to her height? Kinda weird.

  • seymour butz

    my wife posed topless too but she held her purse-portfolio at knee level

    • Mel

      I can’t figure out if that’s funny or if you’re making fun of her for having “saggy” boobs.

  • Nikki

    Her legs have also been lengthened, so it’s a good thing she’s laying down because there is no way she would be able to walk.

  • fashion)ArtBopN(protection

    Parts like the photo the head the clutch*memo==+black schist around waist

    (would.be gold Raglan sleeve) :)Thentranceway is on disaggregated

    because the clutch is to expensive. . ow, compositionally, !!IT’s A MEMO

    to Jane Fonda.

    (It’s.extreme.Sh.sugar.Choo.Choo). . .e!lliptic to the sandals, something’s missing. . .

    The Fractal Brain Theory & the Unification of Neuroscience with AI & Psychology