• Fri, Jan 10 - 3:56 pm ET

17 Celebs Who Claim They’re Retiring But Can’t Resist The Spotlight

8. Lily Allen

Lily Allen Laugh

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It’s a good thing Lily didn’t decide to throw in the towel, because then we would never have gotten to hear the magnificent ‘Hard Out Here For A Bitch‘.

9. Eddie Murphy

Eddie Murphy Shocked

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At one point Eddie promised he’d retire by age fifty…but he’s fifty-two now, and a quick trip to IMDb shows that he still has Beverly Hills Cop 4 in the chamber. Sigh.

10. Clint Eastwood

Clint Eastwood Smile Wave

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Clint is currently eighty-three and says he keeps trying to retire…only to get lured back into the business by an ‘irresistible’ project.

11. Cher

Cher Burlesque Smile

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I don’t even know why she bothers calling them ‘Farewell Tours’ anymore. We all know she’ll be back for more the next year with a little more hair and a lot more sequins and plastic surgery.

12. Joaquin Phoenix

Joaquin Phoenix Smile

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Remember that whole “I’m Still Here” debacle in 2008 when Joaquin said he was retiring from acting in order to focus on his rap music? Couldn’t be more relieved that that was just a hoax for a mockumentary.

13. Chris Brown

Chris Brown Smile Talk

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Poor oppressed Chris Brown threatened promised to retire because people still cared that he tried to murder Rihanna in 2009. But then he realized that he was ‘cool & over it’ and everything was fine. He didn’t have to leave the industry after all! Oh. Bummer.

14. Ryan Phillippe

Ryan Phillippe Smile

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I bet you didn’t know that Ryan quit acting back in 2011. And neither did I, considering he’s done like four movies and a TV show since then.

15. Eminem

Eminem Almost Smiling

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When there were three years between his last two albums, a lot of people though Marshall Mathers had retired. BUT NOPE. He’s just vaguely threatening to at some point in the near future. Yeah right. I’ll believe it when I see it.

16. Tina Turner 

Tina Turner Lightning

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See above re: Cher. This woman is SEVENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. Holy cripes.

17. Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan kissing Bugs Bunny in Space Jam GIF(via)

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if he joined another NBA team. But barring that, I’ll settle for Space Jam 2.

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  • Olivia Wilson

    Celebretiring is the new black.