8. Lily Allen
It’s a good thing Lily didn’t decide to throw in the towel, because then we would never have gotten to hear the magnificent ‘Hard Out Here For A Bitch‘.
9. Eddie Murphy
At one point Eddie promised he’d retire by age fifty…but he’s fifty-two now, and a quick trip to IMDb shows that he still has Beverly Hills Cop 4 in the chamber. Sigh.
10. Clint Eastwood
Clint is currently eighty-three and says he keeps trying to retire…only to get lured back into the business by an ‘irresistible’ project.
I don’t even know why she bothers calling them ‘Farewell Tours’ anymore. We all know she’ll be back for more the next year with a little more hair and a lot more sequins and plastic surgery.
12. Joaquin Phoenix
Remember that whole “I’m Still Here” debacle in 2008 when Joaquin said he was retiring from acting in order to focus on his rap music? Couldn’t be more relieved that that was just a hoax for a mockumentary.
13. Chris Brown
Poor oppressed Chris Brown
threatened promised to retire because people still cared that he tried to murder Rihanna in 2009. But then he realized that he was ‘cool & over it’ and everything was fine. He didn’t have to leave the industry after all! Oh. Bummer.
14. Ryan Phillippe
I bet you didn’t know that Ryan quit acting back in 2011. And neither did I, considering he’s done like four movies and a TV show since then.
When there were three years between his last two albums, a lot of people though Marshall Mathers had retired. BUT NOPE. He’s just vaguely threatening to at some point in the near future. Yeah right. I’ll believe it when I see it.
16. Tina Turner
See above re: Cher. This woman is SEVENTY-FOUR YEARS OLD. Holy cripes.
17. Michael Jordan
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised at this point if he joined another NBA team. But barring that, I’ll settle for Space Jam 2.