As you most definitely already know but probably forgot momentarily, Noah Cyrus turns 14 today. Which in human years means she can get her permit in California next year. And in Cyrus years means she’s old enough to move out, make poor decisions and get married. And/or star on a hit TV show. Look, Billy Ray Cyrus isn’t picky when it comes to how he makes headlines. As long as he has a reason to show up in front of a camera, he’s pretty cool with whatever choices his kids make. Which is why we’re a little nervous for Noah Cyrus to get any older. Between her name, her age and her father’s lack of interest in driving laws, we’re scared she’s headed for trouble. But excited at the same time. Especially when we realize that all these other kids are also coming of age at the same time as Noah. Sure some are older and sure some are younger, but they’re all totally being primed to cause major damage in Hollywood in the next few years.
1. Jaden Smith and Willow Smith
(Photo: Dan Jackman/WENN.com)
The two young teens of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are one call to their lawyer away from emancipating themselves. And while we wouldn’t blame them after seeing the french kiss Will planted on his son last year, we’re also not sure that teenagers should be in charge of their own lives. Especially teenagers who’ve expressed a disdain for education since they’ve been old enough to publicly express disdain.Throw in the fact that Jaden and Justin Bieber exchanged BFF necklaces last year and our concern(trolling) for them is at an all time high. Then again, I would watch a reality show where Jaden and Justin move into an apartment together and are forced to get regular jobs.
2. Suri Cruise
Sure she’s only 7 and sure I confuse her with the persona developed by Suri’s Burn Book, but still, I think we can all agree that she’ll be a total tween diva when she comes of age. An extremely well-dressed one, but a tween diva nonetheless. Seriously, can you imagine Katie Holmes trying to give her a curfew? “Be home by 11 at the latest (Suri slaps her), no you’re right midnight at the latest (she slaps her again), okay I am being unfair, 6 A.M at the very latest.”
3. Ali Lohan
(Photo: Jean Catuffe, PacificCoastNews)
Poor Ali Lohan. Born with the dark mark. Like Lindsay Lohan, it seems impossible that she can survive being raised (or “raised”) by Dina and Michael Lohan without going through some stuff. While she’s managed to fly under the radar so far, we can’t forget that her parents allowed her to go try her hand at a modeling career in South Korea at 18. Sure, sure, that’s legally an adult. But knowing her parents, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that they heavily influenced that decision.