• Sun, Jan 5 - 11:00 am ET

Blindsided Fulfills Lifetime’s New Year’s Resolution To Show More Movies About Blind Ladies

Lifetime Movie Blindsided Michelle Monaghan Michael Keaton 2014

Last year at around this time, I was enjoying a very fun Lifetime movie called In the Dark which revisited the “blind woman in danger from a bad guy” plot made famous in the classic Wait Until Dark. This week, Lifetime decided they needed more “blind woman in danger from a bad guy” movies, so they showed Blindsided. That’s right. Not only is the title a play on the fact that it’s about a blind person, but it’s also a foolproof technique to get people mindlessly searching the channel guide on a Saturday night to think they’re about to watch The Blind Side and then decide to watch this movie anyway because there’s nothing else on. I see you, Lifetime. Unlike your heroine, I am not blind.

Speaking of the heroine, her name is Sara (aren’t they all?) and she’s played by Michelle Monaghan, who must have gotten lost on her way to a blockbuster and taken a wrong turn into this movie. Sara used to be a photojournalist, but while in Afghanistan she was blinded in a very artsy explosion involving a baby doll. Luckily she walked away from it otherwise unscathed and still a total hottie. She now lives in a fancy New York City penthouse with her “investor” boyfriend Ryan. If I’ve learned anything from Lifetime movies, it’s that men who call themselves investors are actually criminals who owe bad guys money.

That turns out to totally be the case, as we learn when a guy named Chad (Barry Sloane, aka Clive Owen 2.0 when he’s being his usual British self) breaks into the penthouse and stabs Ryan to death. Sara comes home and, after calling Ryan’s name fifty times, taking a shower while Chad spies on her, and managing to not step in the huge pool of blood on the kitchen floor more times than I find realistic, she finally realizes what’s happened. Sara locks herself in her bedroom to send her sister a voice-activated email (because I guess the phone is unavailable?), but Chad gets onto the terrace and breaks in through the window. He gives her the classic cryptic thriller question: “Where is it?”

Meanwhile, we learn that Sara’s sister is pregnant and planning to come over later for New Year’s Eve (perfect timing, Lifetime). I naturally assumed that her pregnancy would play a significant part in the plot, like the bad guys would threaten the unborn baby if Sara didn’t talk, but the way they use it later is pretty disappointing. The way they use her husband’s status as a cop — so he can briefly reveal that he knows Ryan lied about where he was from — is also very disappointing. Basically, these two characters are useless.

You can reach this post's author, Jill O’Rourke, on twitter.
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  • Ria

    Michael Keaton was seriously in this movie???

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Seriously.

  • Jensue

    Just watched it. Man, this could have been a better movie soooo easily! And I too did not like the cat murder, I fw through that because I knew what was about to happen…glad to see he made it at the end. But I had so many questions…DID she know about the diamonds?? How does a penthouse like that not have a built in icemaker??? How was her face completely spared in that explosion??? Sigh…

    • Jill O’Rourke

      That was a very selectively destructive explosion.

  • http://trininista.blogspot.com/ trininista

    I thought when the cop brother-in-law came to the door and she said “I will see you later”, smarty pants detective would have taken the hint and I really presumed the cops would break down the door any second. Ugh. What was the point then of this cop relative???

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Yeah he was pretty useless.

  • Sophia

    …What’s funny is that I was fed up with Chad(?)’s reaction to the cat-over-the-balcony. It was okay for him to kill and terrorize people, but killing a cat? Oh no! Anything but that! Not an animal! I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they would fall out. Anyway, it was better than I thought it would be (courtesy of the low, low expectations I had from the other three Lifetime movies I’d watched in *my* lifetime).

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Oh Chad. Such a complex character.

  • Fctwo Willie

    Seriously killing the cat was what bothered you most? Innocent door man getshis throat cut but a stupid cat dies and your offended? People are so screwed up these days.

    • Jill O’Rourke

      SHADOW LIVES!

    • Mel

      I gotta say, the cat getting tossed over the balcony was the most disturbing part of the movie for me, too.

      I guess the real disturbing part should have been that I watched the movie in the first place, but what can ya do.

  • Cbalducc

    Take it from a middle-aged fogey – “Wait Until Dark” is better, especially the villain.

  • Cbalducc

    BTW, do you think Michael Keaton looked like Michael Chiklis in this movie? I did!

    • Jill O’Rourke

      Haha, I hadn’t thought of it but now I can see it.

  • PINK1994

    I was only concerned about the cat too lol the cat didn’t steal, kill, or lie about anything. The humans did, I hated the movie. Two grown men terrorizing a blind woman?… Terrible just terrible….

  • Antoinette Mascitelli

    I miss Batman.

  • Catchmydrift

    Michael Keaton in a Lifetime movie? Things must be going bad for him. Sad.

  • ari

    I have to say this is the best review of a lifetime movie ever. This perfectly captures the circumstance in which you end up watching this, the useless doorman and family members, and artsy suicide bomber scene. My question, why did she not call the police and fall asleep on the floor instead of sending that email to call the police, also why didnt she just scream send i believe the damn thing was voice activated. Oh right because movies are typically more than 15 minutes long a great reason lol.

  • Heaven Sent

    I just watched it myself. Agree with your review. However it isn’t Clive Owen at all.its Barry sloane.

  • Floridacoastdude

    Just watched this on Netflix. Good movie but not great. Keaton has really put on weight. The production values were terrible. Digitized breath on the set when they were supposed to be “outside” was obvious as was the gun flares out the rifles in the war shots. Then when they cut to a close-up of her with the soldiers in the background, they are shooting and someone forgot to add the flares as they have nothing coming out. The green screen processing was very poor on all the balcony shots of the city scapes as you saw green halos around the actors when they moved and again the cold breath appeared and disappeared on the shots. Whoever was in charge of continuity must of been asleep.