Last night Adam Scott went on Chelsea Lately to do that thing he does where he makes me extremely attracted to him. He is very good at it, to the point where I think he should win some kind of award for it. They can add an Emmy category called “Most Attractive Performance as a Human Being,” can’t they? It’s especially impressive that he can remain attractive to me even when he’s talking to Chelsea Handler about pooping their pants. Unfortunately Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t there to add her two cents, but Adam alone is plenty of fun.
This is one of those videos where, even though it’s only about two minutes, you’ll finish watching and ask yourself, “How in the world did they start talking about pooping their pants?” Well, I’ll save you the work of backtracking and explain it. Chelsea asks Adam if it’s hard for him to play mean characters — as in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty — and he replies that he loves “assholes and dicks,” both literally and figuratively. The literal part of that confession he’s already made clear in a previous penis-focused interview. That leads Chelsea to defend the humor of crapping your pants, which Adam agrees is hilarious. And that’s how you go from talking about being an actor to talking about pooping your pants.
Adam also has some very profound and inspirational words to share about the act of pooping your pants and how universal it is. You should really experience his deep thoughts firsthand by watching the interview. Then you should hear Chelsea’s story about her first time — shitting her pants, that is. But mostly you can just spend the rest of the interview marveling at how messy but handsome Adam’s hair looks. How does he do it?