Happy New Year and welcome to 2014! Even though we’ve only been in this year for about 6 minutes, I can already tell it’s going to be a great year, just chock-full of celebrity scandals, surprise pregnancies, “leaked” sex tapes and more. Why, I’m getting excited just thinking about how much we have to look forward to this year. But with all that said, I want to make sure that we don’t forget about all the amazing and miraculous things that happened in 2013. Here are the 18 things that you should always remember from this year.
(Photo: Lia Toby/WENN)
I haven’t sat on a floral couch since without thinking of the fact that Kim Kardashian bought her now infamous dress at slipcovers.com.
While we’ve all spent months trying to unsee this tape, I think it’s time we embrace it for what it is. And that’s a reality star trying to squeeze in a 16th minute of fame by making a porno with the country’s leading porn star. While I would never, ever advise you to ever watch (or Heaven forbid, re-watch) this tape, I do think we should recognize Farrah’s perseverance in staying famous. Also in trying to pass off a professionally made movie as a little ole sex tape that got leaked all oopsy daisy.
Never have I ever felt more emotions from a GIF than I did from this one. In case you don’t have the details of it inscribed inside your heart, I’ll remind you that it’s backstage at the Oscars after she won her Best Actress Oscar.
Holy racism! While I abhor everything that Paula Deen stands for now, I’m obsessed with the way she handled this scandal. Between the homemade apology tape that was so heavily edited that it appeared to be a parody and the incredibly awkward Today Show interview, it was one glorious PR mistake after another. I can’t think of any reality show that managed to entertain me this much this year.
While we all know that Simon Cowell’s ego competes with his v-neck shirts for being wildly offensive, it still surprised us that he got his best friend’s wife pregnant. We always suspected that the guy was a douchenozzle, but this move really sealed the deal.
Whether or not you like Miley Cyrus, you have to respect the fact that she managed to make headlines almost every single day for months on end. I honestly can’t think of a day that’s gone by since her now infamous VMAs performance where she hasn’t made the news. Show me one other celebrity who can garner that much press for just being herself. What’s that? Oh right, you can’t. Miley Cyrus 1,000,000…all her naysayers…0.
We said RIP to 30 Rock, The Office, The B in Apartment 23, Enlightened and Happy Endings this year. While there are still watchable comedies on the air right now, there’s nothing that can come close to competing with Liz Lemon’s night cheese. Nothing, I tell you.
Remember that time Harmony Korrine convinced us to pay him money to see the most messed up senior film project to ever be filmed? I do, because I still have nightmares every time someone says “spring breeeakkk” in that voice. Also every time I think of the scene where Ashley Benson and Vanessa Hudgens have gun sex with James Franco’s mouth. Got the chills just typing that out.