I smell anÂ SNL game showÂ skit brewing: “Britney Spears Show or Episode ofÂ COPS?” Apparently staffers of Britney’s new Vegas show,Â Piece of Me, are regularly given pat-downs and randmly drug tested. For years now, Britney’s PR team has been trying desperately to prove she’s ready for a “comeback” and “stronger than yesterday” (okay, that part isn’t accurate – I just really wanted to use Britney lyrics there), they’re kind of failing.
On one hand, I can totally understand why they’d feel the need to protect her in this way. Â She’s battled some pretty heavy demons in the past, but at the end of the day she is, of course, human and therefore prone to relapse and/or weakness. Â I wouldn’t dream of judging her for that. Â I would, however, venture to judge her handlers and anyone associated with giving her a long-term Vegas show of this magnitude. Because on the other hand, this kind of behavior alludes to the fact that she may not now, or ever be, ready for this kind of commitment.
“Anyone who works with Britney, be it her trainer or her hairstylist, has to be tested and open to random pat-downs,â€ť a source tells this weekâ€™s STAR. â€śAfter everything sheâ€™s been through, they just want to keep her far away from drugs.â€ť
Look, drug testing is a mandatory employment ritual for tons of people. Â I’ve had a huge chunk of my locks snipped and tested, I’ve peed into cups… all for boring office jobs. I can imagine the need for drug testing for an incredibly famous pop star’s Vegas show is even more justified. Â But random pat-downs? Â Yikes! Â Unless you’re a Secret Service agent worried about preventing an assassination, I think that’s a bit too TSA for me. Â This means even the poor bastard who has to paint on her abs every night is subject to getting pat-down whenever the mood strikes. Â No thanks!
That being said, best of luck to the show staff and any man wishing to be a potential suitor of Britney’s and/or anyone who comes within 100 feet of her and her security team.