Amanda Seyfried Defends Her ‘Rapist’ Dog, Yes This Is A Real Thing That Happened

Amanda Seyfried Plays With Dog In Park

In case you’ve ever thought Crushable was hyperbolic at times, please allow me to politely disagree after opening your eyes to genuine hyperbole: TMZ actually not only published the headline “Amanda Seyfried’s Dog — RAPES OTHER DOG” (verbatim) but the accompanying photojournalism put the cherry on top of this molehill-turned-mountain.

As an avid dog-park attendee myself (I mean not myself, but with my dog), I’ve witnessed many a playful dry-hump amongst dog friends, and even the occasional wrestling move.  I cannot say for sure I’ve ever witnessed penetration between canines, because the owners usually step in with a “FIDO, KNOCK IT OFF” kind of dismissal and everyone goes about their business.  No big deal.  Certainly not the kind of situation I’d ever expect anyone to laughably use the term “rape” and/or shake their fist over.  Also, as a longtime fan of Amanda and her dog Finn, I feel compelled to defend them both.

Amanda Seyfried’s response leads me to believe she agrees with me:

Amanda Seyfried Tweet Dog 12-30-13

I’ll refrain from inserting a “hard hitting? HEYYOOOO” and just end this post by saying this was one of the most ridiculous celebrity “news stories” of the year, and I’ll be laughing about this until 2014 (a whole 13 hours from now).  Or at least until my lunch break.

(Photo: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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    • tex2

      In addition to this physical rape, Amway has financially raped 10s of millions of people:

    • CrazyLogic

      Humping is actually a dominance move among dogs when it’s not used to mate. Finn was just trying to tell the lab who was boss.

    • elle

      That tweet is amazing. I’m dying with laughter. Also example one of like eight million why I love Amanda Seyfried.

    • seymour butz

      has finn had a vasectomy?? was he wearing a size long rubber?

      • Cassandra Hough

        I’m eagerly awaiting TMZ’s update for deets.

      • Cassandra Hough

        I’m eagerly awaiting TMZ’s update for deets.

    • seymour butz

      it has occurred to me… perhaps the lab was a male and finn needs to come out of his closet

    • seymour butz

      finn was last seen looking for his passport and booking a flight to mexico