• Mon, Dec 30 - 8:33 am ET

Harry Styles Struggling To Find Kendall Jenner’s Personality, Settling For Her Body In The Meantime

Kendall Jenner Selfie glasses december

Despite being a match made in Publicity Heaven, all is not well in Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner’s relationship. Turns out the flash of a paparazzo’s bulb isn’t enough to keep their young love going. But before you call the break-up police (dial 911, extension 4, ask to talk to Peg), know that the two aren’t calling it quits. At least not during the incredibly slow holiday news season when just being a celebrity who’s breathing is enough to garner headlines. No instead Harry’s just talking openly and loudly to some of his friends about how much Kendall bores him. And by friends, I do mean insiders. They’re like friends, only more likely to sell you out for money. Also more likely to write on your Facebook wall on your birthday — so pick your poison, I suppose.

According to Daily Star Sunday, Harry’s struggling to find Kendall’s personality. And yes, before you ask, he has searched her body inside out looking for it. Rumor has it that he’s even double-checked her cleavage to see if it’s hidden in there. He’s also apparetnly struggling to care enough about her to meet her family. After all if she’s putting him to sleep, spending time with four more sisters just like her might just put him in a coma. And while a coma’s good for headlines, it’s known to be a career killer.

But our insiders say the Worcestershireborn singer finds Kendall, 18, “one of the most boring people” he has ever met and that he has no desire to start socialising with her notorious clan. “Harry finds Kendall very attractive but finds her personality practically nonexistent.

Now please do keep in mind that Daily Star Sunday referred to Kendall Jenner as Kim Kardashian’s stepsister and NOT half-sister in this article– which in my neck of the woods is usually a credibility destroyer. But the rest of this story seems believable enough that I’m forced to forgive them for totally effing up that fact. After all, did anyone really picture Harry and Kendall staying up late at night talking. Also, on that note, can Kendall Jenner talk? Sure we’ve seen her stare, glare and smize — but have we ever seen her move her mouth and make sounds? The more I think about it, the more I don’t think we have.

(Photo: Instagram)

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  • seymour butz

    he’d do better dating a broom

    • Jenni

      It would get the same amount of publicity. Perhaps moreso if the broom cheated on him with a Swiffer. BRB, gotta go write some fanfic real fast.

    • seymour butz

      no he already tried taylor swiffer

    • Jenni

      Hate myself for missing that joke.

  • May

    I don’t understand why a guy in his status needs this isn’t his band already breaking every sort of sales records? I doubt a Kardashian had anything to do with that level of success

    • Srw27

      That’s a very good question. Might wanna ask his shit PR team about that… :D