At this point, if you told me Britney Spears was just a hologram — or better yet a robot — I would be the opposite of surprised. I would just stare at you with no expression on my face and ask you to tell me something I don’t know. It’s become very clear that everything about Britney Spears is fake. She’s admitted to plastic surgery and called it “fun,” for starters. Her music videos have been analyzed for Photoshopping. It’s pretty much old news by now that she lip-syncs on stage, unless she’s able to perfectly recreate her autotuned studio recordings live. And now it looks like not even her rock hard abs are real.
Britney started her Las Vegas residency this weekend, blissfully unaware of how hard her album and documentary have been bombing. She was photographed rehearsing on Thursday, and something seemed a bit weird. One of her outfits from the show is a glittery two-piece outfit for “Toxic” that shows off her impressive six-pack. Like, super impressive. The kind of impressive you see on a child’s superhero Halloween costume or a Greek statue. So obviously rumors are swirling that she had the abs painted on with makeup.
â€” derrick (@derricktiddie) December 27, 2013
That definitely looks like some sort of makeup trickery to me. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said, I’ve accepted that Britney Spears is no longer a real person, or at least her musical persona isn’t. I don’t think anyone’s listening to a Britney album or going to a Britney concert for realness and raw talent. I could listen to “Work Bitch” all day, but that’s not because her singing gives me chills. I don’t expect Britney to have a six-pack; I’m sure she’d look great without makeup there. But if she wants to paint on some abs, I’m cool with it. Except if she wants us to believe those belong to her body she might want to make them a little more subtle. Those are a little intense.