Can we all stop pussy-footing around for a second and admit that Britney Spears will almost certainly be lip syncing her way through her entire Las Vegas residency? No I mean it, guys — take those cats off your feet and sit down next to me for some real talk. You shouldn’t be walking on cats anyway.
You’re sweet to be so polite, and I will tell all your mothers just how well-behaved you were as soon as they get home and pay me for babysitting, but this is a safe space. We can say what we really think here, and what I think is that not a single musical note will be escaping from Britney’s song-hole on that Vegas stage. I mean think about it! We’re all intelligent! Britney’s a lovely gal, and I hope one day the people close to her finally give her another chance at happiness, but she’s never been a singer.
Even in her peak, Britney was more a performer, getting more attention for her appearance, choreography, and antics, and just robo-editing her voice up to something distinctive rather than trained. And let me tell you that if you want to do a twenty-four song set two to three times a week while busting your way through an extremely aerobic dance routine, and you wanna do that for TWO YEARS, you better be trained as balls or you’re gonna get nodes from straining too hard. Especially if you’re singing as loudly and clearly as she supposedly is in this video clip of her performing ‘Gimme More’ at the final dress rehearsal last night.
Nope, sorry. No way. It sounds exactly exactly like the CD, and considering how dazed she still sort of looks figuring out the dance moves, there’s absolutely no way she’s singing that hard for an hour and a half.
Nor should she be! I’m of the opinion that we should accept Britney for exactly what she is without pretending she’s anything more. And right now I think she’s a lonely girl (not yet a woman) trying to please her family and her handlers by dancing around on a stage for the next two years while her music plays in the background. I’m fine with that. Let’s all be fine with that.
(Photo: Apega / WENN.com)