Some dude in Ohio that hates hilarious music videos is suing Kanye West over his use of a sample in ‘Bound 2.’ What’s the matter, guy? Don’t like seeing Kim Kardashian, boobs a jigglin’, riding backwards on a motorcycle? Don’t find it funny to see Seth Rogen doing the same? Oh… Wait, what? You’re Ricky Spicer, the man that sang the original song (appropriated) titled, ‘Bound?’ And Kanye didn’t get your permission or pay you to use the sample? Oh, okay. That makes sense then.
Kanye obviously knew a lot of attention was going to be given to this song because Kanye assumes that a lot of attention will be given to everything he does. So how could he possibly think that he could get away with this? Here’s some possible theories.
1. He Knows That No One Knows The Ponderosa Twins Plus One
‘Bound’ is by the Ponderosa Twins Plus One. If you start typing “Ponderosa” into Google the first thing that comes up is Ponderosa Steakhouse. If you continue typing the whole phrase, a few videos for ‘Bound’ come up and then it’s all news about Kanye West and ‘Bound 2,’ plus a couple sites of people not understanding how Twins Plus One could equal a group of five boys. It’s right there on their album cover, idiots! “2+2+1= Ponderosa Twins Plus One.” Two sets of twins, one plus one. The “plus one” is Ricky Spicer by the way.
2. He Knows That Kids Can’t Sue
Ricky Spicer was 12 when ‘Bound’ was recorded and the rest of the group were in high school. They’re basically like the Jackson 5 if the Jackson 5 hadn’t been way more popular. Maybe this whole age thing lead to Kanye’s mistake. “The Ponderosa Twins Plus One are children!” said Kanye West when Kim — she’s surprisingly well-versed in legal matters! — tried to warn him about illegal sampling. “Children can’t sue! Don’t you know North West would be long gone if that were the case? Silly Kim!”
3. He Knows He’s Yeezus
Yeezus gets what Yeezus wants and he wants samples of mildly popular 70s soul songs with a side of damn croissants.
4. He Knows He’s Rich
If Kanye actually was aware of this sample being illegal and decided to go ahead with the song without permission, he was also definitely aware that he’s loaded and could pay off any twins or plus ones that came suing.
5. He Knew “Bound 2” Would Overshadow ‘Bound’
The “Bound 2” video is so cray that it distracts everyone from everything ever. Kim’s blank stare makes even the most stringent anti-piracy expert excuse the stolen sample. Add on the Seth Rogen and James Franco parody and the whole court will surely be like, “Illegal sample, what? Naw, it’s cool. Go back to Ohio Mr. Plus One.”
6. He Knew There Would Be Bad Headline Puns And He Just Had To See Them
For example, Kanye West was ‘Bound 2′ Be Sued by Ponderosa Twins. Kanye West Ruled ‘Bound 2′ Compensate Ricky Spicer. West ‘Bound 2′ Know He was ‘Bound 2′ End Up with a Lawsuit
7. He Didn’t Know It Was Wrong
I’ll give Mr. West-Kardashian-Yeezus a break and kindly put this possibility out there. According to TV Guide, “It’s likely the West believe he had legally acquired the rights to the song through All Platinum Records, but Chuck Brown Sr., who ran the Ponderosa Twins Plus One’s record label, insists that the publishing rights to the song remain his.”
Kanye is not the only one being sued here. Roc-A-Fella Records, Island Def-Jame Music, Universal Music Group, and Rhino Entertainment are also named, so it’s most likely that the case will get settled while Kanye is off starting another fashion rant or riding into the sunset with breasts bobbing in his face.
Here’s the original version of ‘Bound’ for your listening pleasure!