Chris Brown surprised fans by releasing a new song on Christmas Day while Chris Brown fans surprised the rest of the human population by still being Chris Brown fans. The new song is called ‘Wildcat’ and it’s very Chris Brown. Lots of explicit sex talk, tons of marijuana references, and plenty of phrases that you probably shouldn’t use if you’re more famous for beating a woman than making music. Basically, a lot of stuff that makes you say, “We get it, Chris Brown. We get it.”
We get it, Chris Brown. We get that you like weed. You don’t need to make the statement so strongly that in ‘Wildcat’ it’s unclear whether you’re comparing sex with a girl to pot or sex with pot to a girl or just pot to more pot. For example, “Baby I’mma work you out girl, work you out girl/ I love you, Mary Jane.” Or, “Time after time/ Girl I need that strong shit/ Top of the line/ You know that sticky icky wrong shit.” Ughhh. We get it. Weed. You like it. A lot.
We get it, Chris Brown. We get that you think you’re a sex god the likes of which the world has never seen. We get that you’re a “wildcat” under the covers especially when you’ve smoked an amount of weed that renders most people unable to even play Madden. “I’m a hot box in your hot box.” Yeah, hot box is a smoking term and grossly now a term for you boning someone. Chris Brown, I don’t like that, but I get it. You say “pussy” like two dozen times in your song proving that you are an extremely stoned expert of the female form.
We get it, Chris Brown. We get that you also like drinking. “I got a pint, gon mix it with the Sprite, let me pour up.” You’re classy. Ladies love a nice Sprite-based beverage. “We can do it anywhere/ Have one cup, let’s go.” You wanna drink and you wanna have sex immediately after. You don’t get whisky dick, you’re Chris Brown!
We get it, Chris Brown. We get that you are rich even though you’re abusive and have anger management problems and are currently in rehab. “Hell of a night, 100 million dollar yacht.” Only thing to say about this is that is way too expensive for even the best yacht on the market.
We get it, Chris Brown. You’re going to keep using phrases in your songs that most people would STOP USING if they were publicly known to be physically abusive and just generally angry and violent. “Give it to you good, beat it up/ Your pussy is a crybaby/ Don’t stop, take it to the head.” He’s talking about weed? Yes. Fine. He’s talking explicitly about ladies’ privates? Yes. Gross, but I’ll accept it. He sounds like he’s still talking about beating people up? Yes. Not okay. How does he somehow still think he’s a total badass?
You can listen to ‘Wildcat’ for yourself below. That is if you can hear it over your unavoidable outcries of “oh my god” and “ughhh just stop.”