8. Kim Cattrall
(Photo: Joseph Marzullo/WENN)
“When I answered those questions regarding having children, I realized that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn’t ready to take that step into motherhood. Being a biological mother just isn’t part of my experience this time around.”
Well, it’s a good thing she realized that before she bought that plane ticket with Motherhood Airlines, because they suck at refunds and never have toilet paper in their bathrooms.
9. Eva Mendes
(Photo: Andres Otero/WENN)
“I don’t wanna have kids. I love the little suckers; they’re so cute but I love sleep so much and I worry about everything.”
This is weird, because the opposite thing is allegedly the reason that she and Ryan Gosling are on a Beauty Break.
10. Chelsea Handler
“I definitely don’t want to have kids. I don’t think I’d be a great mother. I don’t want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don’t have the time to raise a child myself.”
Chelsea takes every opportunity to remind us all that she doesn’t ever, in one million dog years, want to have a baby. Like, when she dressed as a pregnant woman on Halloween and when she was all, “Yuck, a baby human?! No, siree.”
11. Ricky Gervais
“We never wanted to be parents, with all that entails: the loss of freedom, total dependency. I’m the sort of person who has to check three times that I’ve shut the door, so I’d probably stare at a kid all day to check it was breathing.”
Well Fergie never wanted to be a parent, either, but look what happened there. Guard your genitals just in case, Gervais couple.
12. Helen Mirren
“They sat us all down, boys and girls, all about 13, 14 years old in this horrible school hall. And then this tweed-skirted dykey sort of woman, short cropped hair, comes on and says, ‘I’m Dr Joyce’ or whatever, ‘and what you’re about to see is one of the greatest miracles. I’ve seen it many times you know because I’m a doctor and giving birth is one of the most beautiful things. I swear it traumatized me to this day. I can’t look at anything to do with childbirth. It absolutely disgusts me.”
Dr. Joyce, WHY?! People who are going through childbirth don’t even want to see childbirth happening. Why would you think these school-aged hormone buckets would be into that sort of thing? Terrible lesson plan, Doctor. And now Helen’s scarred.
13. Reneé Zellweger
(Photo: C. Smith/WENN)
“Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don’t think like that. I never have expectations like ‘when I’m 19 I’m going to do this, and by the time I’ve hit 25 I’m going to do that’. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen, all well and good. I just want to be independent and be able to take care of myself. Anything else is just gravy.”
Reneé is right. Anything outside of self-reliance is gravy. Literal gravy. Also, please help; I don’t know where all of this gravy came from but I am both drowning and oddly content.