There’s a different language that you need to speak in order to be able to understand celebrities sometimes. There’s no Rosetta Stone for it because internet bloggers are the only people who honestly care, and all you really have to do is be able to translate sentences like ‘in the hospital for exhaustion’ into ‘recovering from something that their publicist doesn’t want us to know about’. But it’s still important.
So when we heard last week that Selena Gomez canceled her entire tour just to get some ‘me time’ (and stare out of windows, apparently), various translations of that statement flashed into our heads. Why are you really canceling, girl? The Stars Dance Tour had been going since August, and she only had thirteen more cities to go, so it seems highly likely that ‘me time’ is Celebritese for ‘rehab time’. Why else would it be so sudden? Why else would she cancel over a dozen shows instead of just one? (When I need me time I can usually bang it out in four hours of Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s, but I’m a real professional.)
And finally…why would she be seen driving erratically while leaving a nail salon, to the point that she ran her car into a pole? Yup, Selena was driving around West Hollywood yesterday, and somehow managed to scrape the side of her car along a pole, doing some pretty significant damage. And after it happened, she was making a huge point of hiding her face from the paparazzi as she left the scene.
So what’s up, lady? There’s no shame in going to rehab, you just gotta let me know so I don’t poke fun at you. Because right now it seems like you canceled your tour to get your nails done and bang up your car. And as your former BFF Demi Lovato knows, sometimes the best thing is just being open about what’s going on. It gives your fans something to be inspired by.
(Photo: JLN Photography / WENN.com)