• Mon, Dec 23 - 1:06 pm ET

Selena Gomez Crashed Her Car Into A Pole, So ‘Me Time’ Is Going Well So Far

Selena Gomez performing on Stars Dance Tour 2013There’s a different language that you need to speak in order to be able to understand celebrities sometimes. There’s no Rosetta Stone for it because internet bloggers are the only people who honestly care, and all you really have to do is be able to translate sentences like ‘in the hospital for exhaustion’ into ‘recovering from something that their publicist doesn’t want us to know about’. But it’s still important.

So when we heard last week that Selena Gomez canceled her entire tour just to get some ‘me time’ (and stare out of windows, apparently), various translations of that statement flashed into our heads. Why are you really canceling, girl? The Stars Dance Tour had been going since August, and she only had thirteen more cities to go, so it seems highly likely that ‘me time’ is Celebritese for ‘rehab time’. Why else would it be so sudden? Why else would she cancel over a dozen shows instead of just one? (When I need me time I can usually bang it out in four hours of Netflix and Ben and Jerry’s, but I’m a real professional.)

And finally…why would she be seen driving erratically while leaving a nail salon, to the point that she ran her car into a pole? Yup, Selena was driving around West Hollywood yesterday, and somehow managed to scrape the side of her car along a pole, doing some pretty significant damage. And after it happened, she was making a huge point of hiding her face from the paparazzi as she left the scene.

So what’s up, lady? There’s no shame in going to rehab, you just gotta let me know so I don’t poke fun at you. Because right now it seems like you canceled your tour to get your nails done and bang up your car. And as your former BFF Demi Lovato knows, sometimes the best thing is just being open about what’s going on. It gives your fans something to be inspired by.

(Photo: JLN Photography / WENN.com)

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  • samuelgrant

    Is there not a standard IQ that writers on this site need to have before posting?

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Have you ever heard of a standard like that at a writing job?

    • samuelgrant

      No, unfortunately. I find the bias in this article to be extreme. Also, joking about rehab and Demi’s personal struggles is highly unprofessional.

    • jo

      If you want professionalism, maybe you shouldn’t be getting your news from a celebrity gossip site, just a thought

    • CMc

      I second this statement.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Word.

    • jo

      Not to say you aren’t professional Alexis, just saying that most people go to this site for mind-numbing salacious gossip. Reading CNN articles all day would be too damn depressing.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      No worries! I work for a pop culture, celebrity gossip site, and I think my writing reflects that pretty accurately! Aka I’m a professional in this realm.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      In what way was I joking about Demi’s personal struggles?

    • Eyeballs

      You didn’t! Im a demi fan and you just stated a fact when it came to Demi.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Okay good, that’s how I felt. I love Demi, and I love how open she is with her past. I think she’s a great role model for kids.

    • Eyeballs

      I know you do! Cause I read all the demi posts on this site cause you dont make crap up. I respect that. And also you guys wright with humor so even if something is a bit of it can still be a bit funny. So good job on doing that. And congratz to having gr8 tast in music haha :D

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Hahaha, thank you! This is great.