11 Movie Marriages That Will Make You Never Want To Get Married

Ashton Kutcher Wedding Day Accidentally Hits Wife on Door

(via)

Ahh, movie marriages. From the wackiest wedding day hijinks to the most depressing divorce proceedings and everything in between, movies have done their fair share of convincing me to never want to get married. As a matter of fact, I can think of more movies that have pushed me away from the altar than those that have made me actually want to go through with it one day. Like, yes being together with someone until you die sounds lovely, but what if they fart in their sleep a lot? Not so sweet then, is it?

That’s why, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been lukewarm on the idea of ever getting married. So, in honor of that, here are 11 movies that will make you reconsider that who “’til death do you part” thing.

1. The Five-Year Engagement

Five Year Engagement Bunny Day

(via)

What if I end up like the couple in this movie and end up being engaged to a person who morphs into less and less of the guy I first said yes to? It’s a wonder that these guys even made it to their wedding day, but what would not be a wonder is if they ended up divorcing not too long after.

2. The Hangover

The Hangover Looking At Pictures

(via)

Who even thought that losing your fiancé moments before your wedding was a problem that anyone would have to worry about?! Add that to my list of anxieties.

3. Kramer vs. Kramer

Kramer vs Kramer You Look Terrific

(via)

Divorce is so, so scary to me, a never-before-married human lady. That’s why this insanely heartbreaking movie all about the D-word has probably most definitely scarred me. But you know what you can’t do if you never marry? Divorce, that’s what.

4. Meet The Parents

Meet The Parents Could You Milk Me

(via)

Okay, so meeting your significant other’s parents isn’t something that happens exclusively related to marriage, but the pressure is compounded when you’re auditioning for your soon-to-be in-laws. Especially if you happen to be the unfortunate soul who is tasked with making Robert De Niro warm up to you.

5. Bride Wars

Bride Wars Shocked

(via)

Everything that could possibly go wrong during this wedding-planning period does for these two. I mean, not only do they nearly destroy their friendship with zero regard, but one of them also ends up with blue hair at some point! And I’m not talking about cool and stylish blue hair; we’re looking at straight up oopsie-daisy-blue hair.

You can reach this post's author, Olivia Wilson, on twitter.
Share This Post:
    • Meredith Hirt

      Even The Notebook, which is supposed to be all romantic and shiz, actually turns me off of marriage. Like, you can be the strikingly handsome business man and your fiance will run away for a shaggy bearded man who I’m pretty sure is unemployed!

      • Olivia Wilson

        Looks like we all need to start swinging from ferris wheels in oddly-fitting pants to guarantee that we’re winners in the game of movie love.

      • Meredith Hirt

        We need to make plans to head to Coney Island stat.