I had such high hopes for Kate Winslet being a normal person about names. After all, her own first name is Kate — nice, simple, practical — and she’s had a string of husbands with monosyllabic, standard names like Jim, Sam, and now Ned.
And even looking at her other kids’ names, you’ve got thirteen-year old Mia and nine-year old Joe from her previous marriages. Against all odds, even being one of the most famous people in Hollywood, Kate seemed to be immune to the weird name virus that causes celebrities to give their kids words instead of names.
But that was all before she married a guy with the last name Rocknroll, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming. The moment she walked down the aisle with a guy who changed his last name to one of the tenets of the 1960s, I should have gotten out my crystal ball and predicted that her third child might not have such a generic name like his half-brother and half-sister.
Whether I like it or not, the bug was bound to bite Kate sooner or later, and that day seems to be today, because the couple has announced their new baby’s name and it’s:
Bear! Kate, you sneak! You didn’t just sneak onto the back of the bandwagon with a less-traditional name like Gray or Hartford (colors and place names are pretty standard baby name gateway drugs), you dove right into Alicia Silverstone territory with a full-on animal! Next she’ll be chewing up her food and baby-birding it into his mouth, showing up at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch at Halloween, and saying that women really can’t have it all, three other hallowed traditions of celebrity mothers.
That said, I think it’s actually a pretty cute name, especially with the last name Winslet. Hope he feels the same way when he gets old enough to notice!
(Photo: Lia Toby / WENN.com)