Can we be honest with one another for a sec? Just a second; then we can go back to pretending that we don’t see through celebrity PR statements and acting like we believe in fakelationships. But for this one blissful moment, I just want to throw it out there that this year in film wasn’t so hot. I mean, sure we had movies like Gravity and Mandela, but we also had a whole lot of stuff like Getaway, The Fifth Estate and Delivery Man to bring that tipping scale right back to the sucky side. Because I care, I hope that you only saw this year’s great movies and had to shampoo your carpet on the days when your friends were going to see the bad ones. But odds are high that that’s not the case.
But the silver lining on the dark storm cloud of your and my dislike of these bad movies is that we’re not alone in hating them. Because the actual movies even know how terrible they are. What I mean, is that MTV News spliced together dialogue from the worst movies of the year that completely describe what the viewing experience was like. It’s like the creators of the films saw into the future while writing the script and thought, “Ahh, what the hell. You know this is poop, I know this is poop. The person in charge of handing out Razzie Awards will definitely know, too. Why not throw in a perfectly-fitting line of dialogue so that we all know that we’re on the same page?” Unless, you know, they unintentionally gave us material to poke fun at them with, which a strong possibility as well.
Either way, enjoy 2013′s worst movies pointing out how just bad they are. And may you never meet a person who lists any of these as their favorite movie because awkwaaard.