Last night Kim Kardashian shared an adorable new photo of baby North West with us on Instagram. I ooed and awed and even ooed again over it. Because despite being born to the King and Queen of The Kingdom of Narcissism, she’s an incredibly adorable baby. Before we go any further into the conversation about this baby, you should know I’m a self-diagnosed Shallow Hal — meaning that I only see inner beauty. As you can imagine, it’s both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I’m able to see beyond all that crap that you normals get stuck on, like baby bumps and photoshop fails. A curse because Gwyneth Paltrow literally looks like goop to me. And if you’ve ever seen goop, you know how harmful looking it in the eyes can be for your soul.
So anyways, being a Shallow Hal meant I looked at Nori’s photos this morning and saw an innocent child, basking in the glow of her mother’s love ….for publicity. However the rest of the internet looked at the photo and saw perfectly shaped eyebrows. Too perfectly shaped eyebrows. Sure God throws us the occasional miracle, but would he really throw it at a baby’s face? I don’t know. I’m a celebrity blogger, so I’m about as far away from God as you can get. Therefore, I’m never the one you should come to about celestial matters. (But may I recommend Upworthy to help you with that? Rumor has it that have a syndication deal with Heaven.) However I will say that I can maybe, sorta see where people are coming from with their waxcusations.
While I wouldn’t put it past Kim Kardashian to wax her baby’s eyebrows before a photo shoot, I also wouldn’t put it past Kanye West to kill her for touching that baby’s face with hot wax and ripping out her hair. And then to refuse a lawyer during his murder trial and defend himself by saying #ALLDISRESPECTTOKIMKARDASHIAN over and over until he wins.