• Tue, Dec 17 - 8:20 am ET

Dylan Sprouse Writes Long Blog About Naked Photos, Suspiciously Coherent For A Child Star

Dylan Sprouse Naked Photo Penis Bathroom

Remember that time you went onto the interweb to see what was happening in the world of puppy GIFS and accidentally stumbled onto naked photos of Dylan Sprouse hanging out in his bathroom? I sure hope so, because it was yesterday. And unless you have a bad case of the 50 First Dates, you should remember yesterday. Dylan responded almost immediately to the leak with a straightforward tweet acknowledging that it was indeed him. Which was weird because usually celebrities deny it until they can come up with an angle that makes them look extra victimized. (“My computer has a mind of its own! I wasn’t even naked. It photoshopped those!”)

Personally, there are few things that I fear more than naked photos of me getting onto the Internet. It’s why I only sext when I’m fully dressed. My turtleneck teases the boys, “you like that hint of a neck you see, well guess what, there’s a whole big clavicle under there!” If one of my ex-boyfriends leaked photos of me taking naked selfies in a poorly lit bathroom, I’d freak out like a real housewife being confronted on a reunion show. Then after I flipped every single table in my zipcode, I’d relocate to the underside of a rock — where I’d spend the rest of my days cursing my stupidity.

Unlike me, Dylan Sprouse doesn’t think naked photos are the end of the world. In fact, in a blog post that he wrote on his tumblr last night, he’s pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Like so nonchalant that I feel stupid for even having my “sexting photos go viral escape plan” fully thought out.

He kicks off the conversation by calling us all prudes.

First off, I will state that the reason I’m making light of the situation is because I don’t think what I did was wrong. To be blunt, I was proud of my progress in the gym, thought I looked hot, and wanted to share it. I’m of the mindset that whoever you are, if you are proud of your body and want to show it off, so be it! You do you.

Then, after making us feel thoroughly ashamed about our obsession with naked bodies, he talks about the person who shared his photos. While he had the option to take the low road here, he chose not to take it. Which is disappointing from the perspective of a celebrity blogger, but excellent from the perspective of humanity.

Secondly, the real problem here was not me sending my pictures to someone, but rather, sending them to the WRONG someone. The real travesty is a misplaced trust, and while I am certainly to blame for it, it is a shame that my private life was somehow forcibly dragged into the public’s perception of me.

He goes on more to talk about his public perception and how many Twitter followers he gained from it and it’s well worth a read. If only to see that you can star in two hit Disney Channel shows and end up being able to write a coherent sentence. Well done Dylan Sprouse, you just set the new standard for naked photo leaks.

(Photo: ONTD)

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  • Kate McGarry

    I’m still of the opinion that these were leaked on purpose so that he had the opportunity to make this point…but either way, every former, current, and future teen star should send Dylan Sprouse a fruit basket for showing them how to handle it

    • Jenni

      I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was the case, simply because he and his brother seem so very intrigued by fame — in general and their own.

  • ellie

    I like the celeb gossip but this author talks about herself too much.

    • Jenni

      Oh that’s because I’m obsessed with myself.