Lindsay Lohan is penning a tell-all book about her life and recent experiences, and I don’t know about you but I’m signing up to pre-order for this mess on Amazon when the time comes. Sex! Drugs! Boy bands! Face-punching! Drunken Dr. Phil appearances! The possibilities for chapter names are endless, folks. If “sources” weren’t reporting that this book was being filmed for Lindsay’s docu-series on OWN–and therefore sanctioned by Oprah Winfrey herself–I’d have a hard time believing this to be fact. But alas, Lindsay was seen meeting with a “well-known literary agency in New York” and has allegedly received plenty of publishing offers already because, sadly, this book would probably wind up on a bestseller list.
Apparently while Lindsay was rehab-hopping earlier this year, she had time to jot down her innermost thoughts in a series of journals which will now serve as material for her book. Thoughts like, “My mom was banned from Radio City Music Hall today for getting drunk and pretending she’s still a Rockette” and “How many members of the Hilton family could I have punched?” and “On October third, he asked me what day it was. I said ‘It’s October third.’”
I kid, I kid. I’m sure the book will be filled with far more futile details than those. Seeing as this book is told by Lindsay about Lindsay, I’m willing to bet readers will be given more fiction than fact. That being said, sign me up for the Mean Girls chapter… I’m hoping she finally reveals whether Rachel McAdams really does look like a British man without her hair.