• Fri, Dec 13 - 1:50 pm ET

Don’t Look Now, But For Some Reason Bruce Jenner Is Getting His Adam’s Apple Removed

Kris Jenner and Bruce Jenner attending an event together July 2010You know that thing where you’re eating an apple and you’re like, “Ugh, I’m done with this. I don’t need this at all anymore, so I’m gonna get rid of it”? Well get this — that’s what Bruce Jenner apparently wants to do with his Adam’s apple. He’s not using it for anything that he finds particularly useful, so he’s fixing to shave it right the hell off. Surgically. Let’s discuss.

This procedure is known as a ‘laryngeal shave’, and it’s typically done on patients who are in the first stage of gender reassignment surgery. First of all, if Bruce legitimately is transitioning from male to female, then we’ve all been acting pretty douchey. Pretty much every time I write about Bruce, I reference him being a middle-aged lesbian, and I laugh and laugh at my funny joke. But I’d be pretty ashamed of myself if that was actually something that Bruce wanted, and I was trivializing it by being snarky and ignorant.

BUT. Bruce is insisting that this surgery isn’t part of any larger scheme, that he just went in a few months ago for a consultation for the basal cell carcinoma that was removed from his nose, and the idea of shaving down his Adam’s apple just casually came up and he was totally into it. To put it in his words:

“I just never liked my trachea.”

I just…never liked…my trachea. Okay, but that’s not generally how we as humans respond when we don’t like something. Maybe when it’s something in our pocket or on our plate — that we find it, decide we don’t like it, and just get rid of it, but not typically on our bodies. I don’t particularly care for my ankles, but I’m not gonna have them surgically shaved down so that my feet connect directly to my shins — especially if that was a known surgery undertaken by people transitioning genders.

Bottom line, I hope that if Bruce is transitioning, he doesn’t try to do it weirdly in secret. Sure, there’s a lot of stigma attached to it, but skulking around in the shadows trying to hide your new life from Kris Jenner isn’t gonna help anything. She sees all. And I hope that if he isn’t transitioning, he stops shaving things off his body just because he’s not terribly fond of them.

(Photo: FayesVision / WENN.com)

Share This Post:
  • Olivia Wilson

    Well, Adam *has* been asking for his apple back for some time now.

    (Ba dum tsss)

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      Get out.

  • d.y

    Just like Liberace wanted his lover to look like him, Bruce is trying to transform himself into Kris, the Dark Overlord. Although, Kris probably has a larger penis.

  • FF4life

    Idk.. seems like a cover up for thyroid cancer treatment.

  • seymour butz

    he don’t like his trachea, i don’t like my colon…so?
    anyway that isnt his adam’s apple its his nutsac that migrated up there during his marriage to kris

  • seymour butz

    when he has gender reassignment surgery he will then be known as Kruce Kenner Kardashian. he will then star in ryan seacrusts new series “Keping Up With My Former Nutsac”

  • Jenny

    What the actual fuck.

  • Hoot Hootie

    I thought Jenner was a bit loony for getting ,mixed up with that sick bunch of Kardashians, and this proves he is.

  • Pingback: Kris Jenner Is Crushing On Kimye And Baby North So Hard

  • Pingback: Real Celebs Who Could Use Olivia Pope's Scandal Help

  • Pingback: If Bruce Jenner Seriously Is Transitioning To A Woman, Then We Really Need To Lay Off - Crushable