Hollywood is like middle school. With a lot less braces. And a lot more boobs. Although I’ll be damned if those celebrity boobs are any realer than that girl in my 7th grade class who wore a water bra. Just like in middle school, everyone’s working hard to claw their way to the top. As we all might remember fondly from your own days trying to become popular, you make a lot of enemies on your way up that social ladder. It’s the same in Hollywood — everyone who’s working their way up is simultaneously trying to take everyone above them down. Which is where blind items come in. Disgruntled assistants, angry executives, jealous friends, unpaid dog walkers and everyone in between comes forward and leaks news to various news outlets about celebrities. But without names — making it the most fun game that any celebrity enthusiast could ever play. Trust me, I’m a certified celebrity enthusiast (with a minor in unsubstantiated gossip).
Sometimes blind items are really juicy secrets that could ruin a career. Just blow it right off the map. Other times they’re petty and stupid and boring. Most times you have to approach them skeptically. As much as you want them to be true– and boy oh boy, sometimes you really do — you really have no idea. Nevertheless I’m addicted to reading them each and every day. Mostly because the feeling you get when they’re solved and you get to say “I knew before you knew” to all your friends is the most magical feeling in the entire world. So please celebrate with me as I run through the 8 blind items that actually came true this year!
1.The Halle Berry being pregnant thing came true
This one got me downright giddy when I first read it. I mean, this baby (who now exists!), is destined to be one of the most beautiful creatures on Earth. Think unicorn, but more majestic and more likely to become an actor.
2. The Fergie being pregnant thing came true
Sure now this seems obvious because Axl is a living and breathing baby. But back then her being pregnant certainly got people buzzing. Also, you want to know how to know when you’ve been writing about celebrities too long? Words like buzzing flow from your fingertips onto the screen. Next up? I’m going to start saying celebrities are “stepping out” instead of just merely leaving their homes. Pray for me.
3. The Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas getting a divorce thing came true
(Photo: C. Smith/WENN)
Welp, talk about giving a story a long lead. Despite rumors surfacing in February, the former couple didn’t make their split official into August. Considering that they lasted for 25 years (celebrity to normal human being conversion really makes this marriage 125 years), and that they remained scandal free, this break-up hit us pretty hard…but at least we were able to start preparing for it several months in advance.
4. The whole Khloe Kardashian getting fired from X Factor thing came true
Fiiinneee, we’ll admit that this one was easy to solve. Especially since rumors of her hosting career’s demise began circulating before the blind item even got published. But still, it ended up coming true. As did the rumor that Kanye West will be replacing her. Except instead of helping up-and-comers audition, he’ll just rant until he passes out.