Just because she’s young, beautiful, famous, talented and successful doesn’t mean that Selena Gomez finds dating any easier that you. Turns out that everyone struggles when they’re trying to find the one — or even the one until the real one. Sex on the other hand comes pretty naturally to her.
“Hello,” she says to no one in particular, “I’d like one sex please.”
“Coming right up,” responds the Universe immediately, “would you like that to stay or go?”
“You know what, I’ll treat myself. I’ll take one to stay and wrap up the other one to go.”
“Very well then Ms. Gomez, we’ll have both to you right away. “
Or at least I’m assuming that sex comes that easily for her based on this recent Instagram photo that she shared.
While at first I sympathized with her plight, I then went back and reread it. And holy humblebrag girl! Way to throw it out that fun fact about yourself. What’s next?
“Since making money has become easier, financial advisers that you can trust are harder to find.”
“Since being invited to premieres has become easier, designer dresses that are perfect are harder to find.”
On the other hand, you go Glen CoCo! She not only survived the Disney Channel with her soul intact, but she also survived a relationship with Justin Bieber. She deserves all the sex. It’s the least the Universe can do after making Jelena a thing. And you know, since I’m feeling generous today, I’ll also say that she deserves true love too. There, I said it and now, if all my witchcraft classes are paying off, it will happen.