• Wed, Dec 11 - 1:08 pm ET

Lizzy Caplan Was Schwasted For Her First Ever Sex Scene, And It Sounds Hilarious

Lizzy Caplan on Chelsea Lately with Chelsea Handler talking about her first sex scene December 2013Lizzy Caplan is on Masters Of Sex now, so she gets naked and does an intimate scene pretty much every week, from what I hear, but obviously she had to start somewhere. She wasn’t always a little nymph of nudity flitting around sets, leaping between Michael Sheen‘s legs and bandying his balls about at every opportunity, like an oversexed kitten. (Was that too vivid? I think that was maybe too vivid.)

Lizzy’s first ever sex scene was on True Blood back in the day, and it sounds like it was pretty goddamn awkward and hilarious, based on what she said told Chelsea Handler when she went on the show. For one thing, Lizzy was drunk, which would be fairly normal, I guess, filming a scene that made you that nervous. But this one happened to be super early in the morning, so just bear that in mind while you’re enjoying her incredibly cringe-worthy story.

“It was like seven in the morning and I was chugging vodka completely naked while a makeup artist I had just met was on her knees in front of me like sponging my ass.”

Okay sure, but why sponging? And why totally naked? But specifically, sponging. I need more details about that. My sponge fixation aside, though, what Lizzy describes as happening afterward is too amazing for words…in that it  sounds like exactly what I would drunkenly do if I ever found myself in the same situation. (Filming a nude sex scene for an incredibly popular TV show, NBD.)

“I was so nervous and then I was so drunk that after I shot the scene I was going up to the crew members — I had just met all these people the day before — and I was going up to all of them being like (imitates drunk self), ‘You gotta boner! You do! You got one!’ It was horrible.”

And that’s why we can’t have nice things. Or drink vodka at 7:00am.

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