• Wed, Dec 11 - 5:00 pm ET

Kim Kardashian Thinks Kanye Is Fat, So She’s Been Stealing The Cheese Off Of His Food

Kim Kardashian attending Women In Entertainment Breakfast December 2013It’s after 4:00pm on a weekday, so it’s time for some real talk, you guys — does Kim Kardashian think that Kanye West is fat? Does she think he’s a big fat fatty who can’t fit into his tasteful leather hurricane skirts anymore? Has she lost all touch with the non-svelte reality of the world now that she’s premiered her new, post-pregnancy body, now with 100% less babies in it?

I have to assume that yes, she has, because the tabloids say so, and if we can’t believe the tabloids, who can we believe? (Answer: Crushable. That was an easy one.) Here’s what Star has to say about the pair. Although unfortunately they miss multiple opportunities to use the phrase ‘chubby hubby’, which I think is a real shame.

“Kim Kardashian is following her gut when it comes to being honest with her self-obsessed fiance, Kanye West. [He] was delivered a swift kick in his uncontainable ego after [Kardashian] hinted at the ‘spare tire’ around his stomach and insisted he lose weight. Kim’s tried everything to get Kanye to work out more. But he’s actually gaining weight instead of losing it.”

WHAT. Gaining instead of losing? How is this even possible? What is the meaning of this, Kanye? Someone’s got to do something!

“[Kim] even tries to sabotage Kanye’s meals by telling restaurant servers to ‘hold the dressing and cheese,’ which sources say ‘enrages’ Kanye.”

Yes that’s right, folks, you heard it here first. Notorious cheese thief Kim Kardashian has been SABOTAGING KANYE’S MEALS. Alert the presses.

Gossip Cop is claiming that it isn’t true, but these are the same people denying that Justin Bieber‘s new pick-up line is walking up to hot girls and asking if they want to get ‘Biebered’. And since that sounds JUST EXACTLY like something he would do, I’m not inclined to believe a single word they say anymore.

GODSPEED IN ALL THY FUTURE CHEESE THEFTS, KIMBERLY. Godspeed.

(Photo: Apega / WENN.com)

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