Justin Bieber’s New Pick-Up Line Is So Stupid That It Legitimately Might Work On You

Justin Bieber performing on Believe Tour 2013

Sometimes little Justin Bieber gems drop into my lap on a Wednesday afternoon with no warning, and this is apparently one of those days, because I’m reading that our scrawny, shirtless friend has a brand-new pick-up line that he’s using on unsuspecting ladies. And it’s so hilarious that it might actually work on me, just for curiosity’s sake.

If this rumor is true — and I’m sending all my prayers to the Pop Culture God In The Sky that it is — Justin has been going up to women that he thinks he’d like to have sex with and using his own name as a verb to try to get in their underpanties. According to an insider speaking to Star:

“[Justin] coined a new term for hooking up and tested it out at a November 15 party at his Calabasas, California mansion. Justin was walking up to hot girls asking them if they wanted to get ‘Biebered.’”

YES. YES YES YES. This is so amazing that I almost don’t know what to do with myself. He was walking up to girls in his own house and asked if they wanted to get ‘Biebered’. How is that not the best thing you’ve ever heard? Wouldn’t you almost say yes just to find out what kind of bizarre sexual performance would follow that statement?

“His friends thought it was hilarious, but to Justin it’s not a joke — he thinks he’s so incredible in the bedroom that it’s a privilege for girls to get with him.”

Gossip Cop is claiming that this isn’t true, that they’ve debunked it, but I think it’s just cheesy enough to be plausible. Can’t you just see him saying it and then lunging off with his tongue out the side of his mouth, going SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG?

Someone just please say yes to this bizarre offer so we can see what he’s like behind closed doors. I’m just not buying the ‘big dick amazing love-making’ story that Tati Neves was giving out. Office consensus is that Justin is probably one of those guys who gets fully naked way too early, but leaves his chains on to clank around in your eyes during the Biebering process, but we need confirmation. And yes, I work at an office where we discuss sex with Justin Bieber. Loudly and extensively. YOLO.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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    • Jenni

      I have 0 doubts that this is true.

    • Lia Beck

      I would like to send an additional prayer to the Pop Culture God that he makes finger guns like in that picture when he asks.

    • CMc

      All day long I’m going to giggling and snorting when I think about this. So hilarious.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        All I want is for him to approach me and try to use it. I so desperately need to know where that trail leads.

    • Katie

      Biebered? Gross. Efroned? Fassbendered? Maybe.

      • Jenni

        Efroned sounds exotic….

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Fassbendered yes.