Eleven-weeks pregnant Kelly Clarkson stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show to talk about everything from the baby in her belly to her wedding. She didn’t mention those pesky rumors about her husband cheating on her, because while Ellen could probably get her to talk about it for hours if she really wanted to, she’s a benevolent interview magician. She only uses her powers for good, not evil.
When I said before that Kelly Clarkson talks in this interview, I mean she TALKS. T-A-L-K-S. It’s like Ursula the Sea Witch pulled a reverse Ariel on her and made her incapable of not speaking. Ellen occasionally makes noises that could almost be words, but Kelly just jumps right back in and talks some more. I will admit it’s very entertaining, but by the end of it I ended up wanting to take a week-long break from talking just to conserve the world’s words. Because I think she says as many words in this six-minute interview as I say in a whole week.
A bunch of those words are about how much she hates being pregnant. Not only does she hate all the vomiting involved — including the vomiting she did right before the interview — but she also hates other pregnant women who don’t have that pesky vomiting problem. Like in a “want to hit all of them with my car” way. Thanks, Kelly. I’m currently writing “don’t be pregnant” on my bucket list.
Watch it all play out below, including the part where she accidentally insults Blue Ivy and chronicles how much ugly crying she did during her wedding vows. It’s a long interview, folks. You might want to break it into three parts like The Hobbit and wait a year to watch each part.