Remember the days when all you had to do to get to know yourself better was open up the pages of Seventeen Magazine and fill out one of their quizzes? And all of a sudden you’d realize that you really are more of a Fab Fashionista than a Drab Downer, and you could go about your life slightly more informed about yourself as a person.
Well you may not have a different color rubber band on each of your braces or a totally sick hair wrap anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still get down with some pop culture self-knowledge. You can still discover all about your likes and dislikes just by picking your favorite stage of Justin Timberlake‘s career and letting us tell you what it says about you. SUCH MAGIC.
And really, who better to bridge the gap between your old magazine-reading self and your new, blog-reading, celebrity-obsessed self than Justin. His literally been here the whole time, watching out for us, like a pop culture Santa Claus. He’s always watching, he eats cookies out of your house, and you can use the many stages of his life in the spotlight to tell you things about yourself.
Just. Like. Santa.
If your favorite version of Justin is from his early work on The Mickey Mouse Club, congratulations, because you’re a true blue fan. The fact that you’ve stuck with him this long means you’re a loyal partner in your relationships, and the Disney element means you’re an optimist. You and your group of friends are ambitious and have been tight for forever — just keep it cordial as some of you start to be successful and others don’t, and everything should be fine.
No offense, but if this is your favorite Justin, then you’re kind of a dick. You like to be the center of attention, with everyone knowing you’re the most popular person in your group of friends. You go through the motions of being a team player, but it’s mostly so you can break out on your own later like a renegade. Oh and I bet you make people untag photos of you on Facebook from back when you had that curly afro. TYPICAL.
You are the world’s best person to date. Bar none. You’re so devoted to your significant other that you’ll go along with it when they insist the two of you aren’t having sex even when you are, like Britney Spears did when she dated Justin. You’re selfless, man, what can I say? You’re the kind of person who’d wear a full-on denim ensemble just to match your partner. A Canadian tuxedo? That’s love.
If this is your favorite Justin, you’re probably one of those artistic types who value negative experiences because they breed masterpieces. You’re the kind of person who pushes through pain and doesn’t mind leaving it all out on the table. But you also go in for the low-blow when you need to, like when Justin cast a Britney lookalike in ‘Cry Me A River’. We get it.
You’re that person who would move to a new city where they don’t know anyone or go to a bar alone and leave at the end of the night with a whole group of new friends. You’re a free bird, a bachelor, a person with no attachments. You go where the wind carries you and it usually carries you to a place where everyone can marvel at what a good dancer you are.
You’re in the prime of your life, really coming into your own. You’re probably still single, but not because people aren’t throwing themselves at you. They are, you’re just too focused on your sweet ass apartment and your high-paying job to pay them any mind. You’re killing it, congratulations. Can’t say I’m not jealous.