Congratulations to ground-breaking fashionista
Kanye West Kim Kardashian for being the first celebrity ever to master a new, so-elusive-it’s-still-nonexistent cleavage trend. It’s called ‘side cleavage’, and you probably don’t even recognize its name because it’s that new and trendy, but it’s all over the Paris runways right now and soon it will be exposing half of every pair of breasts in Milan.
Obviously Kim already knows what it is, so if you’re reading this site, Kimela, as you always do, you can skip ahead. But as for the rest of you, side cleavage is that thing where you carve a piece out of your dress that’s not, like, over the cleavage, per se, because that’s so cliche these days. It seems like every shirt I see that shows any cleavage just shows the top part. I mean, show some imagination, people. There’s a whole ‘nother world of cleavage out there.
So you eschew all that in favor of showing side cleavage, which is when the cut-out in the dress borders the cleavage like a town along a river. Just runs right along next to it, showing the nice part on top of the boob, like it ripped its way out to judge your taste in haute couture. You only really show one cleavage. “Just one cleavage for me, please! Leave the other half off — I’m watching my figure!”
Just look how proud she is! How obediently she gazes up at her fiance Kanye, waiting for him to notice what she’s done. “Look Kanye! I chose the least alluring part of my breasticle and hung it out in the fashion wind for everyone to see! Are you not amazed? Has there ever been cleavage that is so tastefully meted out? Everyone else does a whole cleavage and I am contented with merely half.” And he’s like, “Yeah but art, though.”
(Photos: Eugene Gologursky / Getty Images Entertainment)