I’ve been a little huffy with Jimmy Kimmel ever since he insulted my intelligence with that whole twerking girl on fire thing and didn’t go after Kanye West for his insane, hashtag-stocked tirade including the marvelous #NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK, but he just won himself approximately a thousand cool points back with one of the more genius ideas I’ve ever heard: Benedict Cumberbatch as ‘The Cumberbachelor’.
I mean it’s exactly what you think, but HEAR ME OUT. As of right now it’s a parody of The Bachelor that uses clips of our pal Benedict from his show Sherlock, but it could be so much more. Not that it isn’t sort of funny to see Sherlock Holmes summarily dismissing a room full of begowned, bejeweled, and bepainted women flashing their teeth at him, but it’s a short-lived joke that never gets funnier than the name ‘Cumberbachelor’. Which is genius and I want it etched on my tombstone. (Assuming I never marry and dedicate my life to a nun’s order in the service of watching everything he’s ever filmed.)
I went down an odd rabbit hole there, but I hope you’re still busy thinking about what an amazing reality show this would be in real life. First of all, women would be lining up around the block to fling themselves at Bennybatch, and second of all, he’s so nice that he’d never be able to eliminate anyone and they’d all just have picnics together in the mansion while he sympathetically listened to the women complain about each other.
I mean the guy even summons a blush when the name of his fan base — The Cumberbitches, awesome title — is mentioned, so do you really think he’d be able to cope with letting down people who just want to get to know him and kiss his forehead and have his children forever and ever? I don’t think so.
So kudos to Jimmy Kimmel and his writing team for this amazing idea — I trust you will stop at nothing until you’ve made it a reality (show).