I would never sleep with Adam Levine. Even if Behati Prinsloo texted me a photo of him right now on a silver platter with the message, “I’m bored, he’s all yours.” There’s just something about him that seems so slimy. But that’s neither here nor there. I just enjoy kicking off every single article with my celebrity sexual preferences. Just in case my office Secret Santa’s reading this and wants to know what to get me and what not to get me. But enough about me and more about Ellen DeGeneres.
When talking to Adam Levine on her show today, Ellen asked him about his new fragrances. Like the egotistical peacock that he is, he raved about it like it’s the second coming of smells. Until Ellen asked him to read a tweet that he had written during his pre-perfume-extraordinaire-days that literally condemned all celebrities who make perfume to death.
I also would like to put an official ban on celebrity fragrances. Punishable by death from this point forward.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) March 5, 2011
Naturally his reason for changing his mind about the whole perfume business was money. Which I understand. One day I would actually like some money. All of it preferably, but I will accept some of it. Or any of it. So we really can’t fault Adam Levine for going after it. Especially since we all know how expensive it is to collect Victoria’s Secret models. Don’t even get me started on their upkeep costs. Why, one time, I heard a rumor that their wings along cost ninety bajillion dollars. And they they have to special ordered from Heaven which takes fooooreevvverrr. So fine Adam you win this round, we won’t punish you with death for your fragrances.
Also, even though I completely spoiled this interview with you, I’d still like to invite you to watch it for yourself. Because it reminds us once again that Ellen’s the bestest at keeping celebrities on their toes.