There’s a rumor going around this week that Kelly Clarkson’s brand spanking new husband’s cheating on her. Which would be a damn shame because they not only JUST got married, but they also just announced that they’re expecting a baby. There’s never a good time to cheat on your wife. But doing it when you’re newlyweds with a baby on the way seems like an extra bad time. I would say that it’s right in between cheating on a spouse recently diagnosed with a terminal illness and cheating with Leann Rimes on my list of worst cheating scenarios.
The good news is that the original story originated on a site called The Dirty. So there’s definitely a chance it’s completely made-up and we’re stressing over this for nothing. (Ya’ll are stressed, right?) It comes from a lady who prefers to remain anonymous. Which means she’s googleable or completely made-up. So with that in mind, here’s what she has to say about her affair with Brandon Blackstock:
Brandon has been cheating on Kelly (with me) for the past 5 months. We met at a golf club in TN and have exchanged multiple texts and hung out a few times over the last little while. Because his parents are music royalty, Brandon really thinks he is invincible and better than everyone else. I don’t even know why I’m saying any of this since my story isn’t that juicy. We haven’t slept together but we’ve been intimate in other ways. I really hope his wife keeps her eye on him because he’s not the great man that she thinks he is.
Okay first of all, let’s pretend that Mrs. Anonymous is real. Then let’s give her a reality check. Instead of putting the responsibility on Kelly Clarkson, how about she stops doing “intimate things” with a married man. Seems unfair to blame the one person who has NO idea that it’s happening.
Second of all, if my husband cheated one me I would blast some Kelly Clarkson and then Lorena Bobbitt the shit out of him. But that’s just me. I watch a lot of melodramtic movies and shows that make maiming bad guys seem like the moral thing to do. And I have a healthy amount of Kelly Clarkson songs ready to go on my phone at any moment. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve blasted “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger,” to get through a bad day. Okay, fine you win, I’ll tell you. 406 times. Once for every time someone broke my heart and once for every time I raced home to watch a show and it was a rerun. I think every living human being knows the pain of an unexpected rerun! #AllTheUghs
While I’m not sure if it would be weird for Kelly Clarkson to blast her own music if she found out that her husband cheated on her, I wouldn’t judge her for it. But let’s hope that this is all made-up and she can keep on going on talks shows and waxing poetic about her new little family.