In an interview with Ellen DeGeneres that’s airing today, Britney Spears continues to prove that it’s possible to sleep through your own career. Yes, that’s right. You can hit the metaphorical snooze button and still release an album. Sure the album won’t be as good as anything you did while you were awake. But that’s the trade-off when you’re trying to catch a few ZZZ’s while you’re in the studio. (Or as Weird Al might say, “Oops she slept through her alarm again” or “Not Awake, But Not Asleep”)
In honor of “Britney Jean” dropping today, Britney chatted with Ellen about the album as well as her new boyfriend, David NoLastName. And by chatted, I mean said “yes” and “no” to Ellen’s questions. I’ve seen more exciting interviews between myself and my fridge. (“Open me,” it says. “No, I just had lunch and lunner and dinch, I can’t!” I say back.) What makes this interview even sadder is that it’s Ellen. She makes every celebrity look 100x more fun. When was the last time you saw Emma Thompson get down on all fours in a misguided attempt to imitate a duck? Probably never. If this is the best that Ellen can do, imagine her doing an interview with anyone else.
It would be all:
While I’m not impressed with her interview skillz, I am impressed with how good she looks. All that beauty rest paid off because she’s looking fresher and healthier than ever. Or as she would say, “yes, I mean no, wait, what is the question?” Also, on a slightly related note, REVEAL YOURSELF DAVID NOLASTNAME!