I didn’t think anything could be more awkward than Rebecca Black‘s video for her song ‘Friday’, but it turns out I was wrong about that. There is one thing more awkward, and it’s Rebecca herself re-watching said video and providing commentary. Excruciating.
Before we get knee-deep into this hypnotic parade of uncomfortable, please allow me to blow your mind with the fact that ‘Friday’ was released two and a half years ago. I don’t even know how to deal with that. It makes me feel like the old wise woman in Pocahontas whose face was a tree whispering about the things I’ve seen and the places I haven’t been.
But anyway, in honor of Black Friday, Rebecca decided to keep herself relevant by taking a video of herself re-watching the original video and releasing said video on the internet. BUT it’s not like I can really blame her. When your last name is Black and you released a song called ‘Friday’ and the calendar presents you with a day called ‘Black Friday’, that opportunity is just too good to pass up. So she didn’t, and what followed was about the most uncomfortable four minutes and eighteen seconds that I’ve ever spent on Planet Earth.
Because I DON’T THINK THAT SHE’S LEARNED ANYTHING. I have to believe that there are consequences for actions, but there were apparently never any consequences for Rebecca Black. She’s still allowed to roam about as if she didn’t come to each of us individually and feel our ears and brains with garbage and then send us on our way. She’s embarrassed by the video on a basic level, but appears not to realize that I can’t even look myself in the eye in the mirror anymore after I caught myself humming ‘Friday’ when it first came out.
She just giggles through the video like it’s some kind of joke, smiling and tossing her hair and pretending like we’re friends, making no mention of the ruined lives and desolate corpses that her song left in its wake. And in the process, she throws my life back into the same confusion I experienced two and a half years ago when she says she doesn’t regret making it. WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT.