Where do I even begin with this Kardashian family Christmas card? By now we’ve gotten used to this family’s affinity for Photoshop and ridiculousness, but they’ve reached whole new levels of WTF with this one. This year they decided to ignore the whole point of their card — that it’s for Christmas — and just pose dramatically in an artsy environment with absolutely nothing Christmasy or even wintery in sight. If you find something related to Christmas in this photo, please let me know. It might be like a “Where’s Waldo?” situation.
The card, which the family premiered last night in advance of their E! Christmas special — which they filmed in September — features the family members posing in some kind of abandoned casino. I like to imagine this is what their mansion will look like in ten years when they start the descent into Has Been Town. Haha, just kidding. That will never happen. We’re stuck with these people forever.
The card, shot by David LaChapelle, was initially supposed to be just for the ladies of the family, but as explained on last night’s special, Bruce Jenner was upset that he wouldn’t be included, so they let him participate. But as you can see in the closeup below, his presence isn’t the most glamorous. In case you can’t tell, he is literally trapped in a glass tube, doing an impression of Riff Raff from Rocky Horror, pawing at the sides like a mime, while Kris Jenner smirks next to him. Art really does imitate life.
Kanye West, Scott Disick and Lamar Odom were all left out of the photo without the honor of being trapped in their own tubes. As you can see, Kourtney’s kids Mason and Penelope were included — with Mason looking utterly exhausted from spending time with these people — but North West was nowhere to be found. I guess that baby with a halo thing in the background up there might represent her. She is the daughter of a god, after all.
You can see more closeups over at E! Online, but can we discuss how wide this photo is? Is this card going to just be enormous? Is each one going to get driven by its own SUV and then carried into the recipients’ houses with a man carrying each end? I wouldn’t put it past this family. I wouldn’t put anything past this family. Merry Krismas!
(Images: David LaChapelle, via E!)