Best Funeral Ever premieres on TLC tonight. Obviously. I mean, what other network would air a show with the words “best” and “funeral” in the title. And don’t say Lifetime. Don’t you dare say Lifetime. Because you and I both know that their funeral show would be based on a true-ish story about a gravedigger who murders men to be closer to them. As someone who hate-watches TLC more than I hate-stalk Justin Bieber, I watched the special that got this whole shebang started last year. And let me be the first to tell you that it’s nowhere near as tacky as you would think. In fact, it’s weirdly heartwarming. (Emphases on the word weirdly.)
So that’s why I get incredibly defensive when people out there on the Internet hop on their high horse and start wagging their finger at Best Funeral Ever. Sure the show’s title makes it sound like a discarded SNL sketch that tries to turn someone else’s tragedy into a TV event, but I’ll tell you right now that watching a funeral on TV is far less depressing that a lot of the other content that’s out there. I know what you’re thinking right now. I’m full of it. But tell you what, I’m not. You’re just in denial about all the tragic stuff you watch on TV. So before you start making fun of Best Funeral Ever, check out a few other shows that sensationalize horrible things.
1. People getting sexually assaulted
Good god, we love rape. Shaking your head and saying no? The nonstop marathons of Law & Order:SVU on USA would beg to differ. Despite the fact that the show’s about rape, incest, sexual abuse and various other things that would normally make us queasy, it’s a hit show. The NBC drama’s currently in it’s 15th season. Assuming there are about 20 episodes a season, we’re looking at 300 (!!!) episodes dedicated to special victims. File that under “not okay.”
2. People getting murdered
While there are more than enough procedurals on TV about straight-up murder, Dexter stands out for me because it glorified a serial killer. As in a human being that kills other human beings. Several other human beings. Even though this show started dropping fans by the time its eighth and final season aired, it’s still a critically acclaimed TV show that picked up many accolades throughout its run. Which I think means that murder’s a-okay!
3. People doing drugs
Even though the internet has the attention span of a puppy with ADD, I’m sure you remember a little TV phenomenon I like to call Breaking Bad. The show not only turned the schulmpy dad from Malcom in the Middle into a well-known actor, but it also made meth a thing. A super popular thing that we talked about on the reg. People celebrated (mourned?) the series finale this fall by making meth-themed food and drinks. Take a moment to think about that.
How many women in this country have a love-hate relationship with Mad Men’s Don Draper? I think I just saw every single women in the entire world raise their hands. Now do me another favor and tell me the last time you loved a womanizing alcoholic who cheats in real life? I hope you said never. Despite the fact that we don’t usually celebrate people drinking to excess, we clearly make an excuse for handsome men with finely chiseled jaws.
5. People committing acts of terrorism
Man oh man! I bet you never thought you would sympathize with a terrorist. Especially a red-headed one. Yet for some zany reason, Homeland makes us feel sorry for Brody. It also makes us really fascinated with terrorism. Which, don’t get me wrong, is a fascinating thing. But in an extremely scary way. But we excuse the way Homeland sensationalizes it because draaammmaaa. And raaattinnngs. And Claire Danes’ cry face.