Sweet Simple Britney Spears Likes Gay People, But Thinks They’re ‘Somewhat Girls’

Britney Spears attending the Los Angeles premiere of The Smurfs 2 July 2013Sweet, simple Britney Spears is in trouble yet again for trying to understand the vast, confusing world outside of her own head. She’s been dinged on previous occasions for making kind of obliviously offensive comments about gay people, and she’s back in action now trying to puzzle out exactly what makes them so cool and different from regular people who do normal stuff like be attracted to the opposite sex.

First of all, she was really shocked to find out she’d even said anything borderline not-okay, as an interviewer with PrideSource discovered when they asked her how she’d been affected by the controversy after she referred to her gay fans as ‘adorable’:

“Wait, what? Who felt the other way? I would never say anything to be mean to them. I love my gay fans. Gay people are always usually my best friends in the whole world. I completely adore them.”

Poor Britney. She can’t imagine how her comments could have been misinterpreted, when it’s perfectly obvious that she loves her gays. Loves when they snuffle around and kiss her on her face and swarm over her in that adorable way they have. Gays are like puppies, right? Really inspirational puppies.

“I get inspiration from [gay fans] on almost all of my songs. They’re somewhat girls, so it’s so inspiring to do stuff that they like to hear, like the cool ‘in’ stuff. Whatever I do for each record is definitely inspired by them.”

Yup, that’s right! Gay people are ‘somewhat girls’, so they’re really convenient to have around to know what’s cool and trending! They’re like adorable pop culture canaries that let you know when the air gets especially trendy by passing out from excitement. With so many convenient uses for gay people, it’s a wonder everyone doesn’t love them!

“I mean, I hang out with gays all the time. They always surprise me. [Slang] changes weekly, you know?”

Oh yeah I forgot to mention! If you keep them happy enough by patting them on their little homosexual heads, these adorable creatures can even teach you a new language! Work, bitch! Now we’re having fun!

But don’t worry, guys, there’s enough fun to go around, because Britney says that her new album Britney Jean is probably her gayest yet:

“I would say so, yes. I just feel like it has that feeling. You can’t really put your finger on it. It just really has that feeling of…that.”

Sorry Brit, you seem to be struggling with your words a little, so let me help you out — IT’S GOT THAT BIG GAY FEELING. Does your finger feel a little more ‘on it’ now?

But sadly, even this deep connectedness with their people isn’t quite enough to make Britney feel like like she can really coexist with The Gays. When asked if she considers herself an icon, she says:

“I don’t know about that. But I know I do have gay fans.”

Oh Britney. Congratulations on getting your sweet, simple foot even further into your sweet, simple mouth. I’m honestly impressed.

(Photo: FayesVision / WENN.com)

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    • Olivia Wilson

      Wow, can you imagine how many gay guys will be surprised to know that they’re somewhat girls?

    • Olivia Wilson

      Wow, can you imagine how many gay guys will be super surprised to learn that they’re somewhat girls? (All of them, I’m guessing.)

    • Lindsey Conklin

      Oh Britney, betch.

      • Alexis Rhiannon


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    • http://theseductivewoman.blogspot.com/ Rina Peaks

      Maybe, she just used the wrong words in expressing how much she respect gays.

      How To Be

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    • Jake Ryan

      I find it funny that we can call each other ‘girl’ (well, more like “guuuuurl”) and our Hags can call us ‘girl’ but when huge gay rights supporting Britney Spears makes the valid point that we’re ‘somewhat girls,’ we get offended.

      Come on, community. Britney is a hugely outspoken supporter of gay rights. Why are we turning an ally into an enemy?

      How exactly are we NOT “somewhat girls”? Do we or do we not like penis? Also, why is being compared to a girl considered offensive? Also, why is this article written by a woman? Should it not at least be written by a gay man?

      • Andres

        This isn’t a very good argument, not all gay people like to be classified as “somewhat girls” because of their sexual orientation and just as every woman has a right to be proud of their womanhood, men (gay or straight) should get to be proud of their manhood. Being compared to a girl isn’t offensive, being compared to being a girl because of your sexual orientation is offensive.
        I understand that your probably a fan of her and don’t understand how others take offense to this, but to the gay men out there who already struggle with preconceived notions of being feminine because they are gay, it’s a little disappointing to hear such comments from someone who is such an “ally” to the community.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Just blanket statements in general are tricky, I think. You can’t put all gay people into one category, which you can’t deny is what Britney was doing, even if you’re not offended by her statement.

      • Jake Ryan

        Yes, but it must be considered that Britney has a 9th grade education and isn’t exactly an intellectual superstar. She’s a sweet girl from the backwoods of Louisiana. My point is simply that she is an ally and a supporter of the gay community and was just trying to answer a question that was honestly sort of awkward to start with. Too often we try to create issues out of things that aren’t issues at all.
        If the most offensive thing that happens to a person as a gay man is that somebody who supports them compares them to girls (somewhat accurate, we tend to gravitate towards the girlier side of things and we’re attracted to the same gender as a straight girl), then I would say that person is doing pretty well for themself.
        I’m not saying that her blanket statement was necessarily the best thing to say, but consider the source.

      • Jake Ryan

        Sidenote: I more take the comment to mean that she gets inspiration from the gay community because we can move and we like us some sexy ass men – all key pieces of a successful Britney song. I don’t take it offensively at all as a gay man myself.

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    • loagun

      I am gay, and I am a Britney Spears fan. I have been a fan, and supporter of hers from day one, and regardless of either of those two things I can say with a non biased opinion that I was in no way offended by anything Britney ever said regarding her ‘gay fans’.

      I can say ‘non biased’ because it doesn’t matter if you like or dislike any part of Spears the entertainer for you to see the obvious innocence in anything and everything she says. At this point in time the entire world knows – even the writer of this article as she has said in her own words even – that Spears is a small town, shy, girl next door, sweet country girl.

      We all know she is the way she is, because of the world she lives in. She was a human child that became an entertainer from the world, that spiraled out of control when she tried to enter our realm, who was snatched up by her loving parents again, and by completely lawful US Government court systems and state of California deemed mentally incompetent as living life as a human being so that she could once again be contracted out by her parents to entertain the world.

      That is all I have to say because if you are too ignorant, especially that this time, some 15+ years into Spears entertainment slavery, to know that, well, than… I guess it is perfectly justifiable to somehow read into Spears uttering the world ‘adorable’ that she is really referring to gay people as being infant dogs; or ‘puppies’ if you prefer.