6. Mr. Mom
Even though Michael Keaton is really just doing what any parent should do in this movie, male or female, it still totally stresses me out to see him run around trying to take care of the house. Vacuuming I can handle. Vacuuming and changing a baby’s diaper? Stop, it’s too much!
7. Cheaper By The Dozen
I’m talking about both the original and the remake, but mostly the remake because kids these days are monsters. Obviously if I did decide to have kids I wouldn’t have twelve of them in the first place, but it’s just a reminder that I don’t think I could even handle a crowded sleepover for one night, let alone a dozen children every day.
8. Mildred Pierce
Yikes, teenagers are the worst. Joan Crawford is just a single mom trying to get by, but her daughter Anne Blyth is the opposite of grateful. I guess the odds of my daughter stealing my husband and framing me for murder are slim, but I’m not risking it.
9. Dennis the Menace
Poor Walter Matthau just wants to have a nice retirement, but that douche Dennis has to go and ruin it. This movie is particularly horrifying to me because not even the neighbors are safe.
10. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
I think we can all agree that Veruca Salt is a total bitch. Her tantrum haunts my dreams, and honestly if she were my kid I think I’d be pretty relieved to see her fall down that egg chute.