Mean Girls quotes make everything better. It’s just a given, like the fact that Beyonce is just an angel on a decades-long business trip from Heaven and how it’s literally impossible to see two animals of different species become friends and not smile. So naturally this new mash-up of Mean Girls and The Hobbit, titled “Mean Elves,” is totally fetch. It’s also better than all the second breakfasts the Shire has to offer. It might even be better than elevenses. I know what you’re thinking: “Jill, how could you possibly say anything’s better than elevenses?” I know, I’m bold.
I might be a little biased because North Shore High School and Middle-earth happen to be my two favorite fictional realms, but I just found this video from Leigh Lahav to be so delightful. It’s also helpful preparation for next month’s Desolation of Smaug release, which will feature the Elves Thranduil, Tauriel and Legolas, who in this video stand in for Regina, Karen and Gretchen. It’s pretty obvious that if any race is going to be the Middle-earth equivalent of the Plastics, it’s the Elves. And it’s also pretty obvious that if one of the Elves is going to be the equivalent of the queen bee, it’s the Elvenking Thranduil. Not Galadriel or Arwen. Oh no, they’re not nearly bitchy enough.
In case you’re wondering who the other characters’ counterparts are, Bilbo is Cady, and Gandalf and Thorin are Damian and Janis. I’m pretty sure Gandalf is Damian based on the lines he delivers and also based on the fact that Ian McKellen is too gay to function. I know, I know, it’s only okay when Thorin says it. Don’t get your wizard robes in a bunch. Speaking of wizards, another famous one makes an unexpected cameo at the end of the video, so be sure to watch out for it. And then feel free to laugh. If you’re into that.