I’m a child of the ’90s, so growing up I was fed a healthy diet of Disney movies and Bagel Bites, which is incidentally why I instinctively reach for the freezer door whenever I hear “Be Our Guest” playing. But back to the topic at hand. Because the Internet is run by nostalgia-crazy millennials, it’s full of commentary about Disney movies, princesses in particular. From arguing about whether they send the right message to young women to imagining what they would look like in different eras, with different hairstyles and as different genders, go anywhere on the web and you’re bound to bump into a Disney princess or seven.
But let’s say you bumped into one of those princesses in real life. How likely would you be to ask her to brunch or to move in together? How much best friend potential does Snow White have compared to Pocahontas, for example? Obviously it’s very important that we rank them in case we ever do get the opportunity to hang out with these ladies. Hey, we made Tupac into a hologram; bringing Disney princesses to life could be the next step.
In honor of the release of Frozen tomorrow and the addition of the new princess Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell, who has loads of BFF potential), l’ve taken the eleven official Disney princesses and ranked them from least appealing friend material to most appealing. Let’s get to it so we have time to wish upon that star later. I hear it’s giving hopes and dreams out for free, but you have to be one of the first hundred people there. It’s a whole thing.