• Tue, Nov 26 - 3:02 pm ET

Alec Baldwin’s Show Has Been Canceled, A True Victory For Fatheads Everywhere

Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy pouring a glass of whiskey on 30 Rock GIFCongratulations, rock-sucking fatheads, you’ve won a moral victory — Alec Baldwin‘s MSNBC show, Up Late With Alec Baldwin, has been canceled in the wake of his repeated bigoted remarks. And also its incredibly poor ratings overall, but let’s just focus on the bigoted remarks, yeah?

For some reason people are saying that this is a victory for the LGBT community, but I don’t get that at all. After all, Alec has repeatedly said that we misunderstood him, and he wasn’t saying that super inappropriate gay slur f-word AT ALL. How silly of us to think that. He was actually saying the word ‘fathead’, which is a really common insult used on school playgrounds all over the 1930s, so I can’t see any reason why that wouldn’t be the truth.

And if he was saying fathead, which he surely must have been, then of course he wasn’t saying ‘cocksucking’, because that makes no sense. That’s a slur toward gay people, which Alec couldn’t possibly say because he’s a liberal and a non-bigot, so he must have been saying rock-sucking. Like someone who sucks on rocks. That makes much more sense, thank you for clarifying, Alec.

But regardless, after a two week suspension, this rocksucking fathead no longer has a show on MSNBC — in fact, they’re not even airing the already-filmed episode on November 29th — so we can all rejoice and go back to our daily lives of shouting invective at photographers who get too close to our wives and impressionable infant daughters. Oh is that not anyone else’s life? Well okay. Just Alec Baldwin can get back to it, then. Which will be convenient, because he’s about to have a whole bunch of time on his hands fists.

(Image: Tumblr)

Share This Post:
  • Jill O’Rourke

    Cue lots of people saying, “Wait, Alec Baldwin had a talk show?”