If you watched the American Music Awards last night and were able to briefly tear your eyes away from the sight of Lady Gaga arriving via human-horse and Taylor Swift winning every award ever, you may have noticed that the night’s other winner, Justin Timberlake, arrived at the awards sans date. And sans human-horse, but that’s another matter.
Because while it makes sense that Justin didn’t ride in on the back of a seething mass of humans organized into horse shape (Gaga had already rented them for the night), it doesn’t make sense that he’d go to an awards show alone, on account of the fact that he’s married to one Jessica Biel.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but pretty much the best reason to be married to JT is that you get automatic invite to every function ever. Justin spends so much time in the public eye that he could probably talk you into anywhere you wanted to go, whether it’s his private pagoda on the set of Saturday Night Live or the secret room on the Late Night set with the two-way mirror and thin walls for whispering secrets back and forth with Jimmy Fallon.
So when Jessica wasn’t on Justin’s arm, the internet exploded a little with rumors about divorce and separation and trouble in paradise. After all, we already know that Justin is in the process of systematically leaving her for Jimmy, so any time Jessica leaves Justin unattended, it’s another opportunity for Jimmy to get his late night claws into him. And yet leave him she did — free to wander the event alone and ogle as many non-Jessica Biel rumps as he wanted to. WHAT COULD IT ALL MEAN.
I’m watching from home tonight. Calm down, Internet.
— Jessica Biel (@JessicaBiel) November 25, 2013
(Photo: Dennis Van Tine / Future Image / WENN.com)