The Kimye Wedding Will Be Aired On TV, In Case You Needed Another Sign That God Hates Us

Kim Kardashian Kanye West music video bitch

Alright guys. I’m starting to get the feeling that God’s not too pleased with how we’re behaving down here on earth. There’s no other way to explain that the fact that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are now thinking about filming their upcoming wedding for a TV special. I mean, finnnne, there is one other way. But it involves Kris Jenner sleeping with Satan in return for this favor. And frankly, I don’t need that visual in my head. (But you and I both know that they play Chris Brown’s music exclusively when they do it.)

According to Kim Kardashian’s publicist Us Weekly’s insider, it’s not going to filmed by some tacky TV crew this time around. But rather by a team that they hire. Will it still end up airing on TV? Yes, duh. But the difference is that the crew will be totally different than normal. I suppose this is in hopes that no one who’s filming recognizes her from that last wedding she starred in.

“If they choose to film the wedding, it will be filmed by them, not a TV crew,” an insider reveals to Us. “And they’d

Or maybe in hopes that the reason people are so against the idea of watching them exchange their vows is only because they hate the E! film crew.

[insert '90s wavy daydream TV visuals effect here]

“You know what, Kanye,” Kim said to Kanye one night as he made love to himself in the mirror, “I think the reason people are against us livestreaming out wedding is because they hated the quality last time. Let’s hire some real videographers and then just sell it to E!”

“No,” said Rob Kardashian from the attic where he stayed when the cameras weren’t rolling, “that’s definitely not it. It’s more about the fact that you’re putting a price tag on precious life moments.”

“Did you hear something Ye?” asked Kim as Kanye smiled at his own naked reflection, “I think I heard something. Anyways, back to filming our wedding…”

“Yes,” Kanye said aloud to a genius idea had in his head, “a million times over yes, you are a fricking genius!”

“Okay,” said Kim, “a TV wedding it is!”

Or least that’s how I’m imagining Kanye “WE VALUE PRIVACY” West ended up agreeing to this idea.

(GIF: Tumblr)

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    • Olivia Wilson

      “We value PRIVA(money)CY!”

    • MommaJen

      First thing- All I keep seeing is her hair blowing the wrong direction which disturbs me more than it should. Back to the issue at hand…. When the justice of the peace/satan’s minion asks if there is anyone that thinks this couple should not be wedded speak now or forever hold your peace SOMEONE needs to interrupt with a “Imma let you finish this wedding but…”

      • Jenni

        Hahahaha, touche!

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    • muffy

      it looks like they’re on one of those 25 cent ponys in front of Kmart