• Fri, Nov 22 - 11:13 am ET

The Ultimate Guide to Knowing Which Catching Fire Guy Is For You

While Catching Fire might initially appear to be an action-packed thriller full of political messages, it’s actually a pretty sweet rom-com about a classic love triangle. Like most young protagonists, Katniss Everdeen must choose between the kind-hearted Peeta Mellark and the rugged Gale Hawthorne. [insert "Suddenly I See" musical montage here as she goes on dates with both ofthem.] While I could debate the pros and cons of each man for hours on end, I figured that’s gotten discussed enough in book clubs around the country.

So instead, today, I’d like to talk about you. Yes, you! Enough is enough when it comes to talking about Katniss Everdeen. We get it. Her life is hard. Two great guys are in love with her and she has to decide between them. Woe is the girl who gets to have it all. Remind me to cry her a river later.

In this post we’re not going to discus her or any of her other #DytopianWorldisTheNewFirstWorldProblems. We’re going to focus on you and your love life and which Catching Fire man you should pick for yourself. Because the truth is, you never know when you might get the chance to make this choice. And in case it happens, in case you wake one day and find yourself living in Panem, I want you to be prepared. So take a gander at our guide and see which man is the best man for you.

GALE HAWTHORNE

Gale Hawthorne Talking

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If you’re way more into the woods than you are into words, Gale Hawthorne’s probably the guy for you. Sure he doesn’t say much, but what he says speaks volumes.  And yes, there’s always some dirt on his face and yes he smells like dead squirrel, but you’re living in a dystopian wasteland sweetheart. Lower your standards or risk being a spinster. (BTW, I’m getting that screen printed on t-shirt if you’re interested in purchasing.)

PEETA MELLARK

Peeta Mellark Look Away

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Looking for a sweet guy who knows his way around the kitchen? Check out Mr. Mellark. What the guy lacks in stature, he makes up for in frosting skills. Also he will literally die for you. There’s seriously nothing he enjoys more than putting himself in harm’s way. Which, you have to admit is pretty hot.

HAYMITCH ABERNATHY

Haymitch Nice Shooting

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Into alcohol with a splash of addiction? You should meet Haymitch! If he knows his way around a woman’s body as well as he does a bar, you’re on a one-way train to Satisfaction City. Although be careful, he is prone to passing out on trains. And in cars. And really anywhere he sees fit. After all, he is an alcoholic.

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