In news that makes me want to reevaluate all the things that I care about, Kendall Jenner and Harry Styles ate dinner together last night. And then, please sit down for this next part, they got into a car and drove away together. Where did they go? Well besides right through the middle of my heart, I do not know. While there are currently very few details about their date, it’s still disturbing on many levels. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that it’s disturbing on ALL the levels.
First of all, what is Harry Styles doing? He can have his publicist set him up with any celebrity-for-hire that he wants. Say what you want about Taylor Swift (and I’ve said a lot), but being in a fakelationship with her last year opened up a lot of doors for Harry when it comes to dating for publicity. There’s no reason for him to dabble in the D-List now. Why not shoot for the stars — call up Kristen Stewart, see what’s she up to these days. Surely she misses going on pretend dates. “Oh heavens no Harry, the paparazzi are here…I sure hope they don’t take our picture as we leave the restaurant with our coats over our heads. Also Harry, pro-tip, make sure that your coat doesn’t cover your entire face, the bloggers don’t like that. Do you like my scowl? Robert used to say that no one could scowl for the cameras quite like me? Also what do you think of the nickname H. Stylz?”
Second of all, what is wrong with me that I care so much about this date? I saw the news and flipped a shit. Also a table. These are two people who are practically children. Why in the world should this make me want to go back in time, teleport to that dinner table and separate them at once? I’m a grown adult. I should be able to read about this and not seethe with anger. But here I am, sitting at my desk, typing this up like a mad woman. Sure it’s in all likelihood a PR set-up, but it’s still getting me real upset. I don’t know, I just think Harry Styles deserves more in life than a staged car ride with Kendall Jenner. Then again Kendall Jenner deserves more in her life than a maniacal publicist for a mother. So I suppose, in grand conclusion, that we’re living in crazy mixed-up make-believe world that makes no sense. And sometimes it’s good to take a deep breath and remember that fake relationships shouldn’t cause real pain. Also that Harry Styles needs to get a new publicist.