In the land of Hollywood, where the paparazzi shots flow fluidly and the “inside sources” are a dime a dozen, it’s weird for a celebrity to be able to keep anything a secret. Which is whyÂ January JonesÂ takes extra special pride in her ability to have kept the identity of her son’s father hush-hush for so long. For almost 3 years, we’ve all been retracing our steps and checking the last place we remember leaving him to figure out how the heck we managed to lose a dad. He had to have been there at some point, right?! But now no one can find him. Except, according toÂ Us Magazine, he’s been right there under our noses. As in, January is always joking about James MarsdenÂ being her kid’s dad. Riiight, “joking.”
In response to the rumors that were apparently swirling around about him fathering her kid, James told PlayboyÂ that January is always just casually like, “Hey, man! Remember that egg of mine you fertilized? Good times, good times.” You know, the standard my-kid-shares-our-DNA joke that people like to tell to their pals.
“Every time I see January, she’s like, ‘Hey, father of my baby.’ I think that came from somebody thinking we were both in X-Men so it must be true.”
I don’t know, Jimmy, I think you might be a little bit off, there. The reason that people are naming random guys is because she won’t tell us who Xander’s father actually is. We, the Hollywood-obsessed, are a needy bunch. And we are also a spoiled bunch who have gotten used to things like televisedÂ KardashianÂ child labor andÂ Jennifer LawrenceÂ interviews, where we get the whole shebang. So, sorry if you got dragged into it, but January actually saying it feels less like she’s poking fun at a silly rumor than it does like she’s confirming one.
Isn’t it amazing how quickly his interview about being hot (or whatever it is that people talk about in their interviews withÂ Playboy) turned into his confession that he’s the mystery father of Jan Jones’ baby? Or maybe he let everyone in on their inside joke because he’s not too sure it’s a joke anymore. He did say that she says it every timeÂ she sees him. That’s a pretty long-running gag, I think.Â So, let me be the one to declare that she probably stopped joking long ago. And, also, may I recommend that he stop atÂ Babies ‘R’ Us before they run out of the good baby food and establish one or two dad go-to dad jokes, because this is his new life.