• Wed, Nov 20 - 10:38 am ET

Miranda Kerr Spotted With Leonardo DiCaprio, Must Be Trying To Date All My Middle School Crushes

miranda kerr spain mango promotion 12.11.12 peace signMiranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have officially been separated for almost a whole month, so obviously it’s high time for them to start being “spotted” with other people. Thankfully the guy Miranda was spotted with was not Justin Bieber, who’s rumored to have added “destroying a beautiful romance” to his list of horrible accomplishments. Unthankfully, the guy was Leonardo DiCaprio, leading me to believe Miranda has a personal vendetta against me and is trying to date every celebrity I had a crush on when I was fourteen.

But before I (or you) get too worked up about this, we should probably go over the facts. And the rumors about the facts. Because I’m still not completely convinced celebrities aren’t holograms, so I’ve trained myself to be skeptical about this stuff. According to E! News, Miranda and Leo were spotted having dinner in Las Vegas over the weekend with a group of 15 friends. So unless they had one of those Pride & Prejudice moments where everyone else in the room disappeared, Leo and Miranda didn’t have much alone time. But they apparently sat across from each other, which means they had to look at each other while they ate, which is usually the first step to falling in love.

“They looked like they were having a great time,” a source tells E! News of Kerr and DiCaprio, who weren’t acting flirty in any way. “They came with a bunch of friends and were overheard talking about going out the night before.”

Okay, so they had a good time together without being flirty? What’s that all about? Didn’t this source ever see When Harry Met Sally? Men and women being friendly inevitably leads to sexytimes, especially when they’re as made for each other as Miranda and Leo are. Not only have they been linked together in the past, but Miranda is exactly Leo’s type, that type being a Victoria’s Secret model. Leo has a supermodel punch card to fill up, and when he’s done he gets a free sandwich. It’s a weird system, I know.

And let’s not forget that both Leo and Orlando have played Romeo Montague. If Miranda doesn’t have a punch card full of my celebrity crushes (I’m onto you, Kerr), it’s definitely full of men who’ve played Romeo. I think the reward for filling that one up is also a sandwich, funnily enough. But there’s really no better reward than a free sandwich, so it makes sense.

(Photo: Max Powell, PacificCoastNews.com)

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  • Alexis Rhiannon

    This is the first I’m hearing of Leonardo being capable of eating lunch with a model and not flirting.

  • xvala

    Highly doubtful. Leo, as far as everyone else has observed, likes them blonde, very young and unattached. Miranda strikes out on all three scores.