Taylor Swift Has So Much Catching Up To Do That She’s Dating Two Guys At A Time Now

Taylor Swift and Douglas Booth at Romeo And Juliet premiere 2013A lot of you out there have probably heard the rumors that Taylor Swift and Harry Styles are back together. I mean I should know, I was propagating them all day yesterday by pointing out that Harry wrote a song about Taylor. But you’re about to hear about Douglas Booth, another guy that Taylor is probably-maybe dating at the same time on an unconfirmed basis, so please hold onto your hats, because I can explain all this, I promise.

I’m sure you’re familiar with the holiday season, but were you aware that it goes by another name? (Just a little pop culture trivia for you on a Wednesday morning.) I’m betting you didn’t know this, but in addition to inching ever closer to Thanksgiving and Hannukah and Christmas and Kwanzaa and every other holiday I’m forgetting in between, we’re also getting knee-deep into Taylor Swift Mating Season.

Like any focused celebrity, Taylor spends the whole year adhering to a very strict diet. And not a food one like most people, because she doesn’t need to — a man one. For most of the calendar year, she can date, just not openly, and it must always be in moderation. Which is why we just heard those scattered rumors about her dating Ed Sheeran. But as the brisk winter wind picks up and everybody gets cuddlier outside and hand-holding increases by seventy-five percent, Taylor throws her diet out the window (celebrities! they’re just like us!) and starts consuming at a much more rapid rate.

Which is why after a whole ten months or so of radio silence, now in the same week we’re getting word that she’s resurrecting Haylor and dating this new guy Douglas. I mean, the girl has a lot of ground to cover if she’s going to find someone to smooch on New Years Eve, and it’s already mid-November. CUE THE YOUNGER GUYS! CUE THE HOUSE-HUNTING! CUE THE FAKELATIONSHIP PHOTOSHOOTS AT CENTRAL PARK! CUE THE PRIVATE HANGOUTS WITH DOUGLAS BOOTH AT A LONDON RESTAURANT CALLED HOLLY BUSH!

“They hired the back room and were in there alone. They looked very happy [and] were just smiling and laughing just like any other customers.”

The two of them most likely met through Hailee Steinfeld, the closest of Taylor’s many teenage best friends, at a wrap party for Hailee and Douglas’ movie Romeo And Juliet earlier this year, where Taylor was seen getting flirty with Douglas. DRAMA!

And see, that’s the greatest part of this oft-neglected holiday every year. Taylor Swift Mating Season (TSMS, or tizzims, to its friends) doesn’t require a tree or a menorah or a feast or anything — all you need to celebrate is an internet connection and a comfy chair from which to watch Taylor get to work from November to February.

Season’s Greetings!

(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)

Share This Post:
    • Meredith Hirt

      But Taylor already wrote a song about Romeo and Juliet! Is she going to have to repeat song lyrics? The horror!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I believe in her. We are so solidly in her wheelhouse now, don’t even worry about it.

    • Elizabeth Parker

      He was pretty hot in R+J. Is he legal yet though? (how old is he?) I guess during Tizzims she doesn’t care :P.

      • shelby

        He is 21,almost 22, taylor is 23 so u need to Stfu please

    • dani

      LOL, I came to one conclusion, she’s probably not dating any of them.

    • Lajya

      I’m sorry but this post is really nasty. not witty like your other posts, but more about pushing someone down.

    • A grossed out reader

      This is bull and what’s even more disgusting is that you guys thought of all this

    • kami

      she not datin harry or ed retards

    • tiffany

      This is just reslly negative and hatefilled, is this really journalism?

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