19 People You Won’t Believe Have Never Been Sexiest Man Alive

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So last night People announced their Sexiest Man Alive, and just as had been predicted, they gave it to Adam Levine…even though his only achievements of note this year have been getting engaged to Behahti Prinsloo, phoning it in as a judge on The Voice, and being a Caucasian male. Whoop-dee-doo. Cognratulations. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, because People has never shown a ton of originality when handing out this award, but we can all agree that there are a bunch of guys who are more deserving of this title, right?

There are edgier and braver choices, sure, like the list we wrote up yesterday, but there are also a bunch of really obvious choices. People we can’t believe haven’t won already. I’m talking big name, talented, stupidly hot A-Listers who have somehow never made the list. And this is while people like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, and Richard Gere somehow make it on there twice. I don’t get it. You’re gonna tell me you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel so hard trying to think of someone new who’s both sexy and famous that you have to throw a name in there a second time? Pull it together, People Magazine.

Or don’t, and let me pull it together for you. Just hand me the reins and I’ll take over from here. Prepare to be embarrassed, though, because I can hardly believe myself that none of these nineteen guys has ever made the list.

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    • Olivia Wilson

      Patrick Dempsey’s little gray highlight is killing me. He’s so gorg.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        He’s unreal. I refuse to believe that he exists in real life.

      • FauxRealFaux

        I would add Morris Chestnut and Taye Diggs to the list.

    • Katy Hearne

      I only started paying attention to the title of sexiest man alive that year when Bradley Cooper won over Ryan Gosling & madness ensued. But how. How is it EVEN POSSIBLE Leo didn’t win this sometime in the late 90′s?

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        I knowwwwww. What strange world are we living in?

    • KMHinsman .

      Yes! Ryan Gosling in a heartbeat!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        HOW has he never won??

    • Kay_Sue

      How has David Beckham never been the Sexiest Man Alive? I devoted quite bit of time to researching whether he actually used a body double in that underwear commercial…lots of zoom and such….

    • CMc

      Oh man. I was so with you until you said Daniel Craig. The only time he is attractive to me is when he talks. The second he closes his mouth I think “ACK! Neanderthal!” Then he opens his mouth again and I sigh and drool. It’s this weird, sloppy, vicious circle.

      But yes to everyone else on the list. Especially Mark Wahlberg. I would totally have his babies…if I wasn’t already married…and he wasn’t already married. Meet you in my dreams, Mark, in my dreams.

    • Jessalyn Champignon

      Aside from Mark Wahlberg & Alec Baldwin (really? really tho?? Alec freakin Baldwin??); I’m stunned at this list. Literally stunned. (I know, I know… everyone is gonna be all ‘why you hat in on Mark Wahlberg, doe??!!’ — Listen, ladies. When it comes to him.. I can’t. In my mind, he has a permanent place… & that place is a tie between ‘Back when Mark Wahlberg was Marky Mark…”, & ‘Mark Wahlberg in ‘Annoyed and Confused” (Family Guy cut away…). —
      Also… this needs Ian Somerhaulder, Charlie Hunnam, & Alexander Skarsgard added in. Cause… hot daaaaamnnn.